This Post Is Very Revealing.

You shouldn’t try and Throw Me A Surprise Party. I can figure Those Sort Of Things Out, you know. When I was in high school, My MOM tried to Throw Me A Surprise Party for my eighteenth birthday. Trouble is, she left The Invitations right near the spot where I took my contact lenses out each night. I noticed the drugstore bag and picked it up. Inside were Just Purchased Invitations To A Surprise Birthday Party. “A Birthday Party?” I thought. The only Birthday coming up that I could think of was My Own.

“Mom?” I called out. “What are These?”

My MOM came into the kitchen where I was standing and found me holding The Drugstore Bag. Not knowing I had already peeked inside, she grabbed The Bag from me and shouted, “DON’T OPEN THAT!!! IT HAS MY BIRTH CONTROL DEVICES!!!!”

Um…Okay. So, she was A Bad Liar.

The Worst Part of that situation was that I Knew About The Surprise Party before Anyone Else Did. That meant I had to go along with My Friends pretending Nothing Was Being Planned In My Honor. I didn’t really understand The Point Of Still Trying To Make The Whole Thing A Surprise. But, I guess My MOM was determined to Throw Me A Surprise Party whether I Knew About it or Not. She is Crazy! No Surprise There.

What was Surprising was when Totally Awesome Fiancé and I walked into The Slackmistress’s and BeTheBoy’s Apartment for A Brunch We Had Been Invited To This Morning and found All My Friends sitting there. “Wow,” I thought. “I didn’t know The Slackmistress knew some of My Friends! What A Small World!”

And then I realized….

Surprise! It was A Bridal Shower For Me!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!

There were Delicious Cupcakes! And Mimosas! And Presents! And Superjux Hilary and Say It Don’t Spray It Nanette were there, too! Did I mention The Mimosas??!!

The Funny Part is, Before We Left, I was in the bathroom getting ready when I had A Crazy Thought. “What if This Brunch was some sort of Surprise Shower in Our Honor?” I called out to Totally Awesome Fiancé with this Idea and he immediately Squashed It.

“Um, I don’t think so,” he said. He used a tone that sounded like He Was Annoyed At Me For Even Having Such A Self-Centered Thought. Little did I know, he was Pretending The Entire Time!

So, The Biggest Surprise today was finding out Totally Awesome Fiancé was Such A Good Liar!

Pssst: Let’s hope he never finds out The Same Thing About Me.

Thank you for My Surprise Shower, Slackmistress, Betheboy, and Daisy The Wonder Dog!