How I Spent My The Daily Randi Central Coast Weekend

This weekend, Totally Awesome Fiancé and I went on A Vacation! It was Well-Earned and we were Very Excited about it. We drove up The California Coast and visited a bunch of different places!

First, we drove up to San Simeon and toured Hearst Castle!

This is just One Of The Guest Houses!

I had been to Hearst Castle as a kid, and I remembered it was pretty cool. Totally Awesome Fiancé and I have been talking about going since we first started dating. We had seen Citizen Kane, which is loosely based on the life of William Randolph Hearst, and thought, “We should go to Hearst Castle!” It was A Very Romantic Idea at the time. So, it was nice to finally be there with him.

The Place is Crazy, by the way. It is A Huge-Ass Mansion, built overlooking the coast. The pools are Cool!

Where is The Swim Up Bar?

The Tour Guide told us that you can rent out the pool and that people have Parties there all the time. I want to go to A Pool Party at Hearst Castle! If any of you ever get invited, Plus One, please include me. Just forward me The Pool Party At Hearst Castle Evite, or something.

I could pull a Willy Wonka and just stay behind...

After that, we went back to our Bed and Breakfast in Cambria. It was Very Nice. They served Wine And Cheese in the afternoon! Trouble was, you had to talk to The Really Old People who were staying there, too. The Really Old People seemed Really Boring. They were talking Politics and Oil Prices.

The next day, we went to see the Elephant Seals! The Female Elephant Seals just lie all over the beach and sunbathe while The Male Elephant Seals fight over them. That’s My Kind Of Elephant Seal!

Give Peace A Chance, Silly Male Seals!


Next, we drove out to Paso Robles and went Wine Tasting.

The Grapes Of Wrath.

Not only was The Drive full of Breathtaking Views,

You can see The Pacific Ocean!

but I Love Wine!! Tasting Wine was So Much Fun! I learned a lot and I bought a lot. Now we have Lots Of Wine To Drink! And I have A Huge Collection Of Souvenir Wine Glasses that Totally Awesome Fiancé insists will be For Sale at our next garage sale.

You can take The Girl Out Of Fine Dining, but you can't take The Fine Dining Out Of The Girl.


On Saturday, we headed back to Los Angeles. On the way, we stopped in San Luis Obispo to use the bathroom and get coffee. And we stopped in Solvang, which is this Adorable Danish Village just North of Santa Barbara. We Wined and Wined and Devoured Danish Desserts. We couldn’t find a place to eat because everything closed early.

How can Everything be Closed? It is only 4pm!

So, we ended up eating a delicious dinner at The Hitching Post, close to the freeway. They filmed Sideways there! Alas, although Totally Awesome Fiancé may currently be An Unemployed Writer, he did not Hit On Our Waitress. Nor did he demand Pinot Noir. But, by that time we were Wined Out.


Finally, we stopped at The Outlet Stores in Camarillo. You didn’t think I would just Drive By, did you?

And that is How The Daily Randi Spent Her The Daily Randi Weekend!

Just a friendly warning, Totally Awesome Fiancé!


Now, for your viewing pleasure, I present a slideshow of photos, as if you were in a drive-in movie theatre. Feel free to make out with someone you love as you enjoy the pictures.

How I Spent My The Daily Randi 2007 Thanksgiving Weekend

This weekend, it was Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday Night, Totally Awesome Fiancé and I found ourselves watching Hours and Hours of Food Network. They were showing Their Greatest Thanksgiving Hits. All of these Celebrity Chefs were demonstrating Delicious Holiday Things. We literally sat there Staring and Salivating. At one point, I heard Totally Awesome Fiancé moan, “Oh, God,” as we were watching Giada De Laurentiis lovingly Stuff A Turkey. Even I will admit, it was Pretty Hot. Totally Awesome Fiancé said he felt Very Comforted by The Barefoot Contessa because she seems like A Nice Woman, with A Calming Way about her. I decided Sandra Lee is A Big Fat Semi-Homemade Whore.

Now even The Eggplant looks Hot.



Thursday morning, Totally Awesome Fiancé and I woke up at the crack of dawn to run A Turkey Trot! Yay for 5Ks! It was Dark, Cold, and Really Foggy as we made our way to The Big Race. But, by the time we got there, it was Sunny and Cloudless.

I'm Officially Ready To Run!


This Turkey Trot was called “Run For The Hungry,” with Proceeds going to Area Food Banks. Except I thought it was called “Run From The Hungry.” I figured Those Hungry People would be Ravenous and I didn’t want them to Catch Me and Gobble Me All Up, so I made Pretty Good Time. Hands off My Wish Bone, Hungry People! Totally Awesome Fiancé was So Fast, he came in 135th and Placed 6th in his Division! I came in 800 Something Place, but No Hungry People Caught Me. I don’t think Those Hungry People were Trying Very Hard.

Oh, No!! Here come The Hungry!!



After The Race, we came home and watched The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! I Love The Parade! My Favorite Part are the Broadway Musical Numbers they stage in front of Macy’s. But, that’s because I am A Musical Theatre Geek at Heart. Totally Awesome Fiancé watched with me, even though he said he thought The Musical Theatre Part Of The Parade was Totally Gay.

Legally Blonde? Legally Gay!



We took A Nap and then we were off to Totally Awesome Fiancé’s Sister’s House in West Hollywood. I brought Mini Corn Muffins and Mini Cranberry Orange Muffins. I made them myself! Okay. I Mixed Them. I Mixed Them Myself. Everyone Loved Them and told me What A Good Mixer I was! Totally Awesome Fiancé made Chocolate Pecan Pie. He makes it Every Year. And, Yes, he actually Makes It, not Mixes It. It was Really Good, but Really Rich. I told him Next Year, No Chocolate. But, he said Next Year, he is going to make That Delicious Pumpkin Banana Mousse Pie he saw His New Favorite Cooking Lady, The Barefoot Contessa, make on Wednesday Night. I Can’t Wait!

Good thing The Hungry didn't know about These!



Thanksgiving Dinner was Very Tasty. It was sort of A Low Key Affair this year, because Most of Totally Awesome Fiancé’s Family didn’t fly out for the holiday, seeing as they were all just here a few weeks ago for Totally Awesome Fiancé’s Mother’s Funeral. All everyone wanted to talk about was The Wedding. I told them that We Hadn’t Picked A Place or A Date yet because everywhere we Think Of is Outrageously Expensive. Seriously – we have A Mini Budget compared to Most Weddings. I thought that would Shut Them Up. But, instead, people at Thanksgiving tried offering (Unsolicited) Advice on Where We Should Have The Wedding. Someone suggested The Getty Villa. Oh, Come On! I am sure The Getty Villa is Out Of Our Budget. It is perched on A Cliff, overlooking The Pacific Ocean and is in Malibu. Does Anyone have A Clue as to What These Things Cost, Wedding Wise??? Did I Ask for Help??? I wanted to Scream!!! This sort of Conversation is beginning to get Tedious to me.

Grrrrr!



Friday, Totally Awesome Fiancé and I just Hung Out. That Night, we went Ice Skating!!! Santa Monica has An Ice Skating Rink set up downtown!! It was So Much Fun!!! Surprisingly, it was Hardly Crowded. Totally Awesome Fiancé had not Ice Skated since he was Thirteen. But, he did Fine! He even taught himself to Skate Backwards! We decided that we would form an Ice Skating Team and enter The Olympics, but then we realized, we just don’t have the time to devote to Practicing.

I'm A Regular Dorothy Hamill!



Saturday and Sunday, we did Nothing, too. That’s what Vacations are for. (And Fireplaces.)

Sigh.



And now, for your Viewing Pleasure, I present to you A Slide Show Review of My The Daily Randi 2007 Thanksgiving Weekend, set against Delicate, Animated, Falling Leaves. As usual, Please Enjoy.

How I Spent My The Daily Randi Vacation Weekend

Finally, The Daily Randi took A Vacation!

Friday, we were off to Palm Springs! I just Love Palm Springs – I like The Heat and The Old Crazy Architecture, and That Funny Looking Desert Stuff they have everywhere. Plus, My Idea of Vacation is Lounging Around A Pool In My Bikini, Reading Trashy Magazines, Whilst Sipping Refreshing Beverages and that is all there really is to do in Palm Springs. Totally Awesome Boyfriend had Never Been. I lured him there with The Promise Of My Bikini. Plus, I packed A Bottle Of Johnnie Walker Black for him, too. And I told him we could go to An Indian Casino. He was In.

Unfortunately, Totally Awesome Boyfriend has to Work Late on Fridays. So, we didn’t leave until almost Nine PM. We traveled through The Desert in The Dark. It was kind of Creepy. We were booked to stay at La Quinta Resort and Spa, which is this Fabulous Old School Hotel. It was Huge! In fact, it was So Big, we wandered around, looking for Our Bungalow in the Dark for like, Forty Minutes! It was Hot and Dry and there was No One around to Help. I figured this must be the way An Illegal Mexican Immigrant would feel if it were to Cross The American Border and Search For A Luxurious Hotel Room. At one point, I thought I spied An Oasis! But, it was only one of The Hot Tubs. When we finally found our Room, it had A Fireplace, which made us Laugh. Heck, we have A Fireplace at Home! Who needs A Room With A Fireplace anymore? Besides, it was like 115 Degrees outside. What we really needed was An Iceplace. Well, A Niceplace would just have to suffice!

This Place is Really Nice!

Saturday morning, we woke up, had A Very Expensive Breakfast and then Lounged Around The Pool. Since there are 41 Pools on the property, we basically had Our Very Own Pool. We even had A Hammock, which Totally Awesome Boyfriend made good use of. I broke open A Bottle Of Fine Expensive White Wine which I had had in My Fridge at Home, for like, Years, having Won It in A Wine Selling Contest at The Trendy Los Angeles Hotel Hotspot I worked in long ago. It was Delicious!

I shall Drink No Wine before It's Time! Guess What?! It's Time!

Saturday Night, after Working Out in the Fabulous Fitness Facilities and enjoying A Very Expensive Mexican Dinner, we went to The Indian Casino. I am Not Much of A Gambler, so I really just stood around and Watched. But, Totally Awesome Boyfriend didn’t like it. He was Put Off by the Lack Of Dice on the Craps Table (They can’t use Dice in California.) He claims that is Why he Lost Seventy Five Dollars. But, I seem to recall The Same Thing Happening when we were in Vegas and they use Dice there. I think he just Can’t Admit He May Have Lost Seventy Five Dollars.

This Indian won't be Shedding A Tear because Totally Awesome Boyfriend gave him Seventy Five Dollars! (And also because Totally Awesome Boyfriend Never Litters.)

Sunday, we arranged for Late Check Out. So we had time to Work Out in the morning and Sit Around The Pool and Read. It was Super Quiet and Very Relaxing.

On our way back, I asked Totally Awesome Boyfriend to stop off at The Outlet Stores – and He Did! Is he An Awesome Boyfriend or what?! I bought A Cute Purse at The Coach Outlet Store and Totally Awesome Boyfriend bought New Shoes.

A Real Desert Oasis!

When we arrived Home, I checked on My Patio Plants. Before we left, My Strawberry Plant had had A Big, Ripe Strawberry on it. I was Really Looking Forward to Tasting It! But, alas, upon Inspection, My Strawberry was Gone! Someone had savored My Strawberry! Totally Awesome Boyfriend told me he thought it could have been A Cat or A Squirrel, but this Berry was Plucked Perfectly! What Animal could do such a thing? Besides, only The Ripe Berry was eaten. An Animal would have eaten it All -- even The Unripe Ones. My Theory is that Someone snuck into Our Patio while we were Away and Stole My Strawberry! A Brand New Berry is about to Turn Red soon, so I will be Keeping My Eye Out for The Sneaky Strawberry Swiper!

Missing!

And now, Dear Readers, I leave you with A Fabulous Slideshow of The Daily Randi Vacation Weekend. This Week, I present it to you as if you were viewing it from Under Water, which is exactly how I viewed most things this weekend. Please Enjoy.

How I Spent My The Daily Randi Memorial Day Weekend

This weekend lasted Three Whole Days, which Must Be Why it took me Three Whole Days to Write About It!

Friday, I had The Day Off. So, I decided to Get To Know My New Neighborhood. Our Apartment is only Seven Blocks from The Beach and it is just a short walk to The Main Drag, known as Main Street. Main Street has lots of Cute Boutiques, full of Cute Things. I, being A Cute Thing, decided to Purchase Cute Things in Said Cute Boutiques. I bought A Cute Dress I had been Eyeing In A Cute Window. And I just Walked Around, checking out Stores and Restaurant Menus. Later, Totally Awesome Boyfriend called me – He was being Let Out Of Work Early! So, he joined me on Main Street and we enjoyed Happy Hour Deliciousness while watching His Silly Yankees Lose yet again on A Big Screen TV.

I love My Early Evening Cocktails!

Now that I have All This Free Time, I have been Really Focused on making The New Place feel like Home. My Latest Obsession has been Acquiring A Patio Set for Our Amazing Patio. This has not been Easy. Do you know How Expensive New Patio Furniture is? So, for the past few weeks, I have been Prowling Craig’s List for Something Nice and Cheap. And, No, that doesn’t mean I was Scouring Casual Encounters. Most of the Sets I have come across have been Old and Rusty. But, one I saw Listed on Friday Night seemed Promising. The Woman selling The Set phoned me Saturday Morning, so Totally Awesome Boyfriend took A Ride To The Other Side Of Town to go look at The Advertised Set. What A Freaking Disappointment! The Woman had mentioned in Her Ad that The Set was Weathered, but she neglected to add that A Chair Was Broken and The Set Had Never Been Sealed and The Wood Was Split in Dangerous Ways and Places. When I offered her Less Money, Craig’s List Woman acted Offended. “I’ll get my $150 Dollars!!” she growled at us. “Don’t you Think I Won’t!!” We backed away slowly and drove home disappointed, but luckily, Splinter (And I suspect Spinster) Free.

This looks Just Like The Craig's List Woman!

Saturday Night, we went out to Dinner with A Pair of Totally Awesome Boyfriend’s Sister’s Friends. They wanted to Take Us Out because Totally Awesome Boyfriend recommended A Shady Auto Body Shop In The Valley to them and it saved them, like $2000 when they returned Their Car in on its Lease.

No, I don't think Their Car was This Messed Up.

It was Fun. We ate Italian. We also went to A Show at UCB, which was Heavy on The Balls Shaving Jokes, so Not Quite As Funny As Usual. I hate when My Comedy is Ruined by Hairy Balls.

Unsanitary!

Sunday afternoon, we bought A Gas Grill! My MOM had sent us A Gift Card for Home Depot and we went to Town! The Appliance came Already Assembled, so That Night, Totally Awesome Boyfriend was able to Fire It Up and BBQ Steaks for Us! DELICIOUS!! It turns out, Totally Awesome Boyfriend is An Excellent BBQ Chef! Yet another reason he is Totally Awesome!

Our Steaks looked Just Like This! (Not Actual Steaks.)

But, also, Sunday, I bid on A Fabulous Five Piece Mosaic Tile Patio Set on Ebay and I Won! The Set only cost me $51! The Catch was that I was going to have to Drive Down To Orange County to Pick Up The Set.


Which is Exactly What I Did On Monday! The Patio Set looked Even Better In Person, was in Perfect Condition, and there was Absolutely No Traffic. Best of all, The Man Selling It was Very Nice and Not At All Bitter that he was Giving Up His Set for So Little Money. We can Eat Our Delicious Grilled Steaks outdoors on Our Wonderful Patio! I Heart EBay!

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Our Patio Set looks Just Like This! (Actual Set! Not Actual Patio.)

And now, for your Viewing Pleasure, I present to you A Slide Show Review of My The Daily Randi Memorial Day Weekend. All that Time Off made it Really Hard to Wake Up On Tuesday, so it is presented within An Alarm Clock. Feel Free to Set Said Alarm and, as usual, Please Enjoy.

How I Spent My The Daily Randi Weekend

The Daily Randi Weekend went by in A Flash!

Friday, I had to go to Home Depot to pick up some Supplies For Work! I needed to get Paint Stuff because we are Painting Our Sets. Having just moved, I wasn’t sure exactly where The Nearest Home Depot Was. So I did An Internet Search and discovered – there was one in Marina Del Rey, which is real close by. So, over to Home Depot I drove. I have never spent Much Time in A Home Depot before and I have to tell you – Home Depot is Heaven to someone who Just Moved.

Home Depot? Home Heaven!

Best of all, now that I Live With A Man, I can just bring Projects home and tell Totally Awesome Boyfriend to Build/Fix/Do Something Like This Picture It! Having A Man around is Fun/Productive! After I got all The Things I Needed For Work, I picked up A Bunch Of Things for The New House and I went to The Garden Area because I now have A Big Beautiful Patio and I think Big Beautiful Plants should grow on it. I have never Gardened before, so wish me Luck! Hopefully, I will be able to keep Something Alive. Besides Totally Awesome Boyfriend, that is.

Friday night, I Cooked! I made us Meatloaf!

No, Not This Meatloaf.

I used A Recipe recommended by Say It, Don't Spray It Nanette and baked it in A Muffin Pan to help with Portion Control. Totally Awesome Boyfriend LOVED it! In fact, he LOVED it So Much, he had Two Helpings! Which sort of defeated The Purpose of The Whole Muffin Pan Portion Control Thing, but I didn’t care. I don’t really remember if I Liked it or Not. But, I do recall being Overjoyed with Loading The Dishwasher after I was done Cooking!


Saturday afternoon, I Worked, which was Really Fun. I wish I could tell you all about How Excited I Am About How Well It Is All Going, but I don't want to risk Getting Dooced, so I Won’t. But, it really is going Super and I am So Proud of All My Students.

No Photos, Please.

Saturday Night, Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I were So Tired, we fell asleep at like 9pm, watching Some Lame Movie.


I awoke This Morning to The Mellow Sounds Of Totally Awesome Boyfriend Rearranging Our Built In Bookcase. It seems he has “A System” for this. This “System” has taken All Day. In fact, he is Still Working On It, right over there, as I Type This. So, this is like A Seven Hour “System”. But, he assures me, It will look Amazing when he is through. I guess this is Good because Our Bookcase is the First Thing One Sees upon entering Our House. And we both have Lots Of Books.

Oh, and Earlier Today, we walked to Our New Local Farmer’s Market and enjoyed Delicious Omeletes. And I picked up A Giant Artichoke. I am Determined to learn How To Cook An Artichoke. But, this one is Huge, so I may need some sort of “System,” too.

My Artichoke is Thankfully, Not This Large.

And then I Laid In Bed and watched A Flip That House (Updated!!) Marathon. I wanted to go to The Festival Of Books, but I am So Busy With Work and The Move, I thought A Day Of Doing Nothing Except Watching TLC should be The Way Of The Day.

Don't Flip The Channel!

And now, Dear Readers, I leave you with A Fabulous Slideshow of The Daily Randi Weekend. This Week, I present it to you as if you are at A Heavy Metal Concert. Rock On, Folks.