Sunday, January 11, 2009

Venetian De-Sight.

Today, I went for a nice, long walk along the Venice Beach Promenade. In case you know nothing about Venice Beach, California, or its Walk Along The Pacific Ocean, I shall fill you in: It is full of Freaks. No, really. It is Freak City. Ironically, there is a Freak Show along the walk that you can pay $10 to enter. But I don’t know Why Anyone Would Pay To See Freaks when Free Freaks Are Plentiful. There are Terrifically Tattooed Types, Pierced People, Snakes, Birds, and Gold Painted Mimes. Muscle Beach – the infamous locale that serves as a workout space for The Exhibitionist Gym/Beach Community is along this path. The whole route smells like the unusual combination of Salt Water and Marijuana. In other words, it’s not the track at your local high school.

Along the path, I noticed A Really Really Obese Couple, dressed entirely in Green Satin. Yes, their outfits Matched. They were just walking along, like any other ordinary couple. Except that they were Really Obese And Dressed In Green Satin. I wondered if they Dressed Alike all the time. Or if Today was Special. Or, maybe it happened By Accident. She put on her Green Satin outfit, came out of the bedroom and discovered that her husband had chosen to wear his Green Satin outfit, too, oh, How Funny, and one of them volunteered to change into the Red Satin outfit, but they were in a rush so they just went out in Matching Green Satin Outfits thinking No One Would Notice, after all who pays attention to such things. Maybe they had their Green Satin Outfits custom made! They were both Huge, so perhaps Regular Clothing didn’t fit them and since they had to have their clothes custom fit, they decided, Hey! Let’s go crazy and do it all in Green Satin! That way, all of our clothing will Match and we will never have to pick and choose What To Wear! Just like Garanimals and everything is in “Alligator”! Maybe couples just begin to Dress Alike after years of being together. And this couple took that idea and ran with it.

When I returned home, I asked Totally Awesome Husband when he thought we might start Wearing Matching Outfits.

“Never,” he said simply.

But then I noticed we were both wearing Jeans and A T-Shirt. So perhaps it has already Started.


ChiaLynn said...

I always want to imagine that when you pay to enter the Freak Show, they lead you down a long, frog-smelling hallway, up a narrow, darkened stairway, and then out onto the balcony, where they gesture to all the beautiful freaks on the beach and say, "Behold, the Venice Freak Show."

Sadly, I think it's just a bunch of two-headed reptiles and a very bendy boy.

Cybele said...

Green satin belongs on leprechauns. Perhaps these were leprechauns gone way wrong, like that girl Violet in Willy Wonka.