Tuesday, August 26, 2008

For Green.

I get asked This Question all the time:

“The Daily Randi, How did you and Totally Awesome Fiancé meet?”

Well, one would think that Readers of The Daily Randi would remember A Time when I was Crazy and Single. The Stories were a lot More Exciting back in The Day. But, Newer Readers may not realize this. And so I Shall Answer The Question.

This is The Story of How I Me Totally Awesome Fiancé:

Back in December of 2005, I received An Awful Postcard, randomly mailed to Single Jewish Woman throughout Los Angeles. It read something like, “Isn’t it time that you had a baby? You are getting Really Old! Give yourself An Amazing Hanukkah Present! Single Jewish Male seeks Jewish Female to have his baby.” I am Paraphrasing, but that is The Gist of it. The card even featured A Photograph Of An Adorable, Probably Not Jewish, Baby. Ugh. It was Awful. Who wants to receive A Postcard like that around The Holidays? Not Me! I Wrote A Post about It and How Horrible It Was. It turned out, A Professional Shofar Blower bought our names from The Census or something. I wonder if anyone took him up on The Offer.

Future First Husband, A Boy I briefly dated, read My Post and told me that Another Girl Had Received This Postcard and Blogged About It, Too! He sent me The Link to The Story, written by Superjux Hilary. I read Her Post. And then I read Every Other Post She Had Ever Written because she seemed to Live Down My Block. She wrote about The Same Supermarket and Street Noise! I started Sending her E-mails until She Made Me Her Blogger Friend. She was hosting A Get Together for Other Los Angeles Bloggers at a bar in Hollywood. I begged her to Let Invite Me, also! And so she Did.

I was supposed to Attend The Blogger Get Together with ‘Mazing Amy. But she got Sick and couldn’t go. So, I went By Myself. That night, I met Lots Of Bloggers. Some Of The Girls were Mean To Me. One of them came up to me and said, “Sweetie, Your Breasts are about to Fall Out Of Your Dress.” She claimed she Meant Well, but I Know Girl Bitchery when I Hear It. Besides, The Whole Breast Falling Out Thing Was The Point. One of The Boys there mentioned he went to Columbia University and I told him, “Easily Annoyed Sister went to Columbia! I went to NYU.” And then I found out he was from Long Island! Right near Where I Grew Up! I went to camp with His Sister! We had All This Crazy Stuff in common.

I excused myself to go to The Bathroom. I wanted to meet people, Make Friends. But, I found myself thinking about This Boy while I was Sitting On The Toilet. I had this Crazy feeling that he was going to be Important. A Very Important Person in my life. There was some sort of Innate Connection. I can’t explain this feeling to this day. But, I swear, I Felt It.

I went back out and rejoined The Party. I talked to some other people. That Boy came up to me and asked me for The Name Of My Blog. I wrote it down for him on A Book Of Matches.

I never once thought He Wouldn’t Call. I knew He Would. I knew he would Ask Me Out. He went to My Site. He E-mailed Me. He Called when I gave him My Phone Number. It all happened The Way It Should. There was never any Worry. Or Wondering.

That Boy was Totally Awesome New Boy. And then he became Totally Awesome Boyfriend. He has been Totally Awesome Fiancé for a while.

In less than 48 Hours, he will be Totally Awesome Husband. That Blogger Get Together was The Best Party I Ever Went To.

Well, I have Our Wedding on Thursday. I expect The Wedding to Top That Night.

And I have This Crazy feeling: The Rest Of My Life will be Absolutely Wonderful.


the slackmistress said...


And I hope the Girls Who Were Mean To You are still getting those postcards.

Hilary said...

Mazel tov Randi, can't wait to help you guys celebrate tomorrow night!

Annika said...

Aww. I like this story a lot.

Anonymous said...

Aww, what a gerat story!
Best wishes to you and Totally Awesome Fiance for a great wedding and a wonderful life together!

Green said...

That was a beautiful story. I'm so happy for you!

Nanette said...

I love this story.

And I love that I was there, sitting across from you two when Cupid shot his little arrow. And I love that I get to celebrate with you tomorrow night!

Anonymous said...

I so love this story, always have!! Mazel Tov Randi and TAF, I am so so so so happy for you guys!

d said...

I also met Michael at one of Hillary's blog get-togethers. You're lucky I didn't snatch him up first.