Not Nothing.

Needing to Name New Things I Noticed but Neglected to Narrate:

1. Nesting. We bought A New (To Us) Patio Set from Craig’s List. The Set is Great because it is Comfortable. Before we purchased The New Set, we just had these Ugly Benches that came with the house and they Hurt Our Backs And Behinds. The chairs are rustic and wood and cushioned and on wheels. They can be moved all over the patio. I can sit in The Sun all day now! My New Favorite Thing to do is to Sit On The Patio And Read. In the past week, I have Read Two Books.

2. Noggining. What are The Books I Just Read you ask? I finally finished Chelsea Handler’s collection of autobiographical essays entitled, Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea, which, by the way, you will Love if you Greatly Enjoy The Daily Randi. I started it on The Honeymoon but never finished it. When we went to Hawaii, Totally Awesome Husband and I took Two Books with us that we Both wanted to read. We figured we would each read One and then we would Switch. I brought David Sedaris’s New Book, When You Are Engulfed In Flames, which was Very Good. But, it took me The Whole Honeymoon to read it and we only got to Switch Books on the last day. The Other Book I Read Sitting On My Patio is Steve Martin’s autobiography, Born Standing Up. Born Standing Up was An Excellent book. He dissects What Makes Things Funny and is A Must Read for anyone who Writes Comedy. I liked this book So Much, I want to Read It Again and Highlight Stuff. In case of A Test, I guess.

3. Neatifying. Our New Amazing Cleaning Lady came and this time We Let Her Come When We Were Not Home. Guess What? She Cleaned Everything and didn’t Steal The Scotch! There was A Momentary Scare when I thought she might have Stolen All The Clothes I Left On The Floor In The Bedroom. But it turns out – She Just Hung Them Up! Like, in The Closet! How Clever is That? We think we need to Pay Her More.

4. Needling. I have picked up My Knitting again because Totally Awesome Husband wants A Hat and I think it is finally Safe to Knit Him One! Now that we are married, The Boyfriend/Sweater Curse – the belief that if you Knit Something For Your Boyfriend He Will Break Up With You – Ceases To Apply and I am Free to Knit Away for Totally Awesome Husband! I am making him A Simple Hat. I hope he Likes It. So far, the signs are Good that he will because he likes to pick up My Yarn Stash and whisper, “Soft…So Soft.” Maybe I could just throw him A Ball Of Yarn and he would be Happy because apparently, I Married A Cat. No matter. I will Knit Him The Hat anyway.