Wednesday, September 17, 2008

For Better. (Or For Worse.)

The night before The Wedding, I Freaked Out.

I mean, like Totally Freaked Out. Totally Awesome Husband and I had invited everyone all of our Wedding Guests to one of our favorite Happy Hour Joints. Lots of people came, including My Family, His Family, Old Neighbors From Back East, Etcetera. It was really touching to see all of these people and know that they flew in to Los Angeles just for The Wedding.

Until, of course, I realized all of these people flew in to Los Angeles just for The Wedding and I Totally Freaked Out.

Now, I am not going to beat around the bush here: When I Freak Out, I get Diarrhea. And so The Night Before The Wedding, I began consuming Pepto Bismol Max by The Hour. I drank So Much Pepto Bismol Max before The Wedding, I could have made the bottle my Maid Of Honor, chosen Pepto Bismol Pink Linens, and Tossed My Cookies rather than A Bouquet.

I was supposed to stay with Easily Annoyed Sister the night before, instead of staying at home with Totally Awesome Husband. I pictured Easily Annoyed Sister and I in her Hotel Room, giggling like Schoolgirls. “I can’t believe I have to kiss him on the lips!” I would shriek, trying on my phantom wedding veil. And then I would spin around and fall on the king sized bed and ask her to pass the chocolate while Flock Of Seagulls played in the background. Leave it to me to Imagine The Night Before My Wedding as A Bad Jennifer Garner Movie. I was definitely going to be Sick.

And so, I demanded at the bar that Totally Awesome Husband take me home that night instead. I thought that staying at home would make me feel Safe and that being near him would remind me Why I Got Myself Into This Crazy Freaky Wedding Mess. And it did. Well, that is until He Began To Totally Freak Out. In the middle of the night, he woke up sweaty and shrieking and told me that he was Scared. I hugged him and kissed him and told him it would all be Okay. We both ended up Crying and falling asleep in each other’s arms. His and Her Freak Outs, it would seem.

At least We Freaks had found had Each Other and there is definitely Solace in that. Alas, it was still not enough to prevent me from consuming my weight in Pepto Bismol Max on Our Wedding Day.

Maybe we should have signed Our Ketubah with Pepto-Filled Pens.

7 comments:

Sarah said...

I was so positive I would have reacted the same way (because thats what I do) before my wedding but I was oddly calm. It was very weird and my whole family was just waiting for the other shoe to drop but it never did.

I'm sorry that happened to you guys :( Hopefully Hawaii calmed you down.

the slackmistress said...

I am convinced the only way to not have a digestive nightmare/bawling wedding freak out is to have one of you lse a whole bunch of money the night before the wedding. It really does take your mind off the whole OMG part of the next day.

justJENN said...

You guys are crazy. The wedding was wonderful and you two were made for each other! Pepto bismol for everyone!

Annika said...

This is the best story ever. (I am sorry about the diarrhea, though.)

Jennifer said...

Awww that is just way to sweet. I'm glad you both got to freak out together and made eachother feel better. That's like the best way to start off a good marriage :)

But UGH seriously you DRINK the Pepto? Do they not have the tablets there?

Inanna said...

I can't imagine how two people so made for each other could freak out about getting married, but I guess that is just part of your charm!

Sorry about the diahhrea though. Hope all is well with the digestion now. Looks like you had an awesome honeymoon! CONGRATS!!!

Amanda (VintageGlam) said...

So cute you both got sick!
I too had diarrhea the night before the wedding. I thought I was nervous, but I found out the next morning that my father in law also got sick.
Apparently the Rehearsal Dinner was the real cause of our sickness. But I think both the Rehearsal and the Dinner made me sick :)