Friday, August 15, 2008

Bite You.

I Bite My Nails. I have been Biting My Nails every since I can remember. There have been occasional times when I have Stopped. But, they don’t last very long. I don’t mind the habit. Usually, I am not even aware that I am doing it. I will just hear, “Stop Biting Your Nails,” from Totally Awesome FiancĂ©. And then I realize I am doing it.

In case you are asking yourself, “Why don’t you just Stop, The Daily Randi?” It isn’t as easy as that. I think I get some pleasure from Biting My Nails. And I figure if it is My Worst Habit, I can live with it. At least I am not Smoking anymore. And Fingernails are Zero Weight Watcher Points. My fingernails are the only things hurt by My Nail Biting.

But, I was thinking I should have Fake Tips put on for The Wedding. I am worried about my nails looking Ugly. And they always make you take A Picture With The Bride And Groom’s Hands Wearing Their Rings. It is Real Close-Up and You Will Be Able To See My Nails. I don’t want my nails too look Awful.

Except that I keep having This Dream where I get Tips Put On My Nails. But, I Bite Off The Tips right before The Wedding! And then My Nails look Even Worse than before! And The Tips taste Disgusting! And then I am even More Upset About My Nails and My Wedding is happening! And I have A Fake Tips Induced Stomach Ache! I have This Dream every single night!

I don’t know which is Worse:

My Awful, Ugly Bitten Off Fingertips?

Or An Awful, Ugly Recurring Nightmare.


evilsciencechick said...

get tips put on. you want your hands looking nice, because, yeah, there will be a lot of focus on them.

My fingernails are weak and peely, so I got gel nails, which look very natural and pretty. The benefit of gel nails is that they look very natural. I just had the tips painted. And they didn't scream OMG FAKE NAILS! You can see them here, which is the perfect example of why you want pretty nails: lots of pictures of your hands!

the slackmistress said...

The only way I was able to stop biting my nails was getting braces as an adult. I'll pick at them, sometimes (when I'm stressed) but for the most part, I leave 'em alone.

If they're raggedy, I agree with the above. If they're just short but clean, you can just have them squared off and go that way. Do not fret!