Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Pitch Meeting.

TOTALLY AWESOME FIANCE: So? What are you going to Blog About today?

THE DAILY RANDI: Oh, yeah. We’re Blogging Every Day, aren’t we. Shit.

TAF: I know. Shit. It’s almost twelve. What are you writing about tonight?

TDR: I don’t know. Oh, yeah! I was going to write about Your Friend’s Cocktail Party! You know, and how now that he has A Girlfriend, he shops at Whole Foods rather than 7-11.

TAF: Huh. I was going to write about that.

TDR: Ohhh. You were?

TAF: I was going to write about The Whole Food Thing, but then I was going to divert into my party behavior before I met you and How You Got Me Shopping At Fancy Whole Foods, too.

TDR: (Thinking. After a moment.) Okay. You can have That One. I’ll just write about The Rat That Was Under The Sofa Last Night.

TAF: You’re going to write about That?

TDR: Don’t be So Alarmed! I will explain it was A Freak Occurrence and that The Rat just Snuck In The Front Door Somehow because We Left The Front Door Open and The Rat Under The Sofa Last Night had absolutely Nothing to do with The Housekeeper Stealing The Scotch And The House Not Being Cleaned In Over Two Months. Nor did it have anything to do with How You Hum The Theme To The Odd Couple All The Time because you think I’m Messy and I Leave My Flip Flops Everywhere.

TAF: Well, I think I should write about The Rat instead.

TDR: You? Why?! My Story is Funny!

TAF: Yeah, but I was There! I battled The Rat! I looked The Rat in The Eye! You merely hid in The Bedroom!

TDR: You told me to Hide In The Bedroom!

TAF: I was There, Man! ¡¡La Rata!!

TDR: Yes, but look at it from where I’m Coming From… I was stuck in The Bedroom, forced to listen to you scream, “Oh SHIT!” several times. You kept calling out, “It’s Okay! Things are under Control! Don’t Worry!” Which made me Totally Worry! I heard things clanging around. Then, when you announced The Rat Ran Outside, I came out of The Bedroom to find Our Sofa Overturned, My Good Candy Dish Broken, and A Carving Knife Stabbed Into A Pillow. Now, THAT’S Blog Material!

TAF: I’m Writing It. So, Too Bad. Our Overlapping Readers will just have to read it Twice.

TDR: That’s Stupid.

TAF: Whatever.

TDR: Good.

(After A Beat.)

TDR: I wonder What Other Couples Talk About? You know, like Ones Who Don't Blog.

TAF:Huh. I don't know...I’m Blogging That!!

TDR: Not if I Do It First.


the slackmistress said...

Welcome to our world.

Aimee said...

Hahahaha! OMG, I love you guys...