Monday, July 14, 2008

An Intimate Dinner Conversation. Sort Of.

Totally Awesome Fiancé and I have A Favorite Restaurant we like to go to. We are probably there Once A Week. The food is Decent. The portions are Huge. Their corkage fee is Only Four Dollars! We go to this place So Frequently, they just Write Down Our Name For A Table when they see us walk in. It is your Basic, Casual, Romantic Italian Dinner Restaurant.

The Restaurant is Tasty, but it isn’t Perfect. The menu never changes. In fact, I could probably Recite The Specials on any given night and not because I Used To Be A Food Server And Got Really Good At Memorizing And Reciting Specials On A Daily Basis. The Specials simply never change! I promise you, if you called them up Right Now, they would tell you they also have A Filet Of Salmon, Sautéed Over A Bed Of Black Linguini With Wild Mushrooms And A Puttanesca Sauce. Because they have it Every Night. See? Not So Special any longer, right?

Another thing that I don’t care for at Our Favorite Place is The Table Arrangements. Parties Of Two are sat Very Close together, so much so that it is like you are having dinner with another couple but have just forgotten to Move The Two Tops Together And Introduce Yourselves. This is sometimes Amusing, like when we are sat next to A Couple On An Obvious First Date. Totally Awesome Fiancé and I like to try and Guess What Date They Are On, a little game we like to call, “First. Second, Third, or Married.” We like to hear them talk about Their Family Back East and How The Dating Scene Has Been For Them So Far. Sometimes, we like to Bet Dessert on whether He Asks Her Out Again.

Last Saturday, however, we were sat next to A Couple On Their Very Last Date. They were Fighting. She was Crying. He kept telling her She Was Ridiculous To Be Angry At Him. Apparently, he was mad Because She Said He Lived Like A King On Her Dime. This made her Start To Curse. She wanted to Leave. He called her Names. Her First Husband was right about him.

Now, normally, I wouldn’t Care. Please! Feel Free To Fight Amongst Yourselves! Except that they were sitting Right Freaking Next To Us. Since they were sitting practically at The Same Table, it was Impossible Not to Listen, which made things Very Uncomfortable. Picture it: Totally Awesome Fiancé and I are trying to Talk About How Excited We Are About Our Wedding and Fighty And Mighty over here are Talking About How Horrible It Is To Be Married. That’s not exactly what I would call A Romantic Dinner For Two.

Luckily, right before our entrees were served, Miss Fighty stormed out and Mr. Mighty paid their bill. Or, attempted to, at least. Miss Fighty was called back in to Take Care Of The Check because Mr. Mighty had No Money. The Next Couple to be sat next to us was Very Quiet and talked a lot about Real Estate and What Time The Babysitter Needed To Be Home By. They barely spoke once their food was served.

“Happily Married, “ I told Totally Awesome Fiancé. He just Smirked and Nodded in Agreement.

And I bet The New Couple Sitting Next To Us probably noticed this and thought, "Engaged."


Anonymous said...

Good lord, that's uncomfortable. Why do people chose to do that in public? Annoying.

Annika said...

Are you ever tempted to order something for the couples you dine with (er, next to)? I think I would be. You know - "He seems nervous, bring them something that has to be eaten with your fingers to distract them," or "they seem tense, maybe a nice dessert would help."

Nanette said...

Brent and I totally play the "first, second, third, married" game, too! :)

And we haven't been to that restaurant as nearly as much as you, but you're right about the tables for two - TOO CLOSE!