Thursday, May 29, 2008

Age Old Story.

Late afternoon, on Memorial Day, Totally Awesome Fiancé and I decided we should Go For A Walk. And so We Did. I thought we would just be going around the block or so, so I took Nothing with me. Naturally, this meant we ended up down by The Beach, where all the stores and restaurants are. It was nice not to have the burden of carrying a purse and stuff. But, it also meant I Couldn’t Buy Things. I like to Buy Things. So, that kind of Sucked.

It was a Beautiful, Warm Night and we ended up staying out for quite a while. And then we got The Bright Idea to go to A Bar! For A Drink! I was craving some sort of Holiday Margarita-ish Thing and Totally Awesome Fiancé likes to eat The Nuts they put out at One Of Our Favorite Places. We walked in and took a seat on two stools by the bar.

It was then that I remembered, I had left the house with Nothing. Totally Awesome Fiancé was buying. But what if they Proofed Me? Ahhh, shucks. I Never Get Proofed anymore. It’s kind of insulting. I used to get Proofed all the time! But, I would say about Three Years Ago, all Proofing Of Me Ceased. Now when I buy Wine at the grocery store, I see cashiers eye me closely, and then scoff at the notion of Needing To See My Driver’s License. I don’t know what they See that makes them Stop. I am guessing it is The Old Lady Wrinkles and The Grey Hair. Now, I wouldn’t say we were Regulars at this establishment. But, the place is in Our Standard Rotation for Places We Like To Go When We Decide Cocktails Are In Order. So, you would think, the waitstaff would recognize us somewhat and know I Am Very Old. But, No. I ordered The Holiday Margaritia-ish Thing and was instantly Proofed.

“I don’t have Anything on me!” I pleaded. “We just went for A Walk!”

Totally Awesome Fiancé pulled out his wallet and his ID. “You can see mine.”

And then to The Entire Bar I announced, “I’m 38 Years Old!!” Now, who in their right mind would shout that out at A Los Angeles Bar if it weren’t True? To appease the doubting eye of the bartender I added, “You can look real close at me and see I Am Really Old! I have Old Lady Wrinkles! Look!”

The bartender still seemed to require More Proof. “Ask me about Life In The 1970’s!” I suggested.

And realizing this made me Really Old because she would only know The Answers To Questions About Life In The 1980’s herself, she let me off the hook and Served Me.

I wish I could say I enjoyed My Holiday Margarita-ish Thing. But, by then it was Late and we were feeling Tired. Us Old Folks need our rest, you know.


Michael said...

TAF's probably robbing the cradle.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

Will said...

At least you were there with someone. It would only be bad if you had no one to get margaritas with.

Diane Mandy said...

Oh I hear you! I find I need my rest much more these days.

Jennifer said...

And legal age to drink in the states is 21 is it not?

Here it's 19 and my 35 year old husband still gets "proofed" like that word... and he also gets "proofed" for lottery tickets.. yes you have to be 18 to play lottery and scratch tickets. haha