Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Wedding D(St)ress

This weekend, I found My Wedding Dress!

I wish I could Tell You All About It, or even Post A Picture, but Totally Awesome Fiancé is A Regular Reader and he wants to be surprised. So, like all of you will just have to pretend You Are The One Marrying Me, too. It will be Revealed after The Wedding!

I can write that it is Beee-a-utiful, Perfect, and it was The Fourth or Fifth Dress I tried on at The First Place we went to. Easily Annoyed Sister and I visited Three Other Shops after we found The Dress, just to make sure it was The One. But, much like when I First Met Totally Awesome Fiancé, I knew it was The One immediately and didn’t want to Part With It/Take It Off. It kills me that I will only get to wear it One Day. Maybe I will put it on, like, Every Anniversary, just so that I can Don It Again and Again.

Wedding Dress Shopping was quite The Experience. Easily Annoyed Sister flew in Friday Night, just to help me with this task. I thought it was going to be Awful, because I Hate That Princessy Wedding Dress Look. But, it turns out, The Wedding Dress Place Salespeople were Very Nice and apparently, Lots Of Women Hate That Princessy Wedding Dress Look, too, and they knew exactly where to steer me. In fact, A Shop Owner was The Person who found The Dress I Loved and suggested it to me. Now I think she is some sort of Wedding Dress Place Genius.

Of course, Some Places were Painful to shop in. There were Rules up the kazoo – No Pictures, Sign In, Don’t Touch The Dresses. One place made me stand on Footprints, Naked, Hands Over Head, before they would lower the dresses on top of me. Some places had No Mirrors in the dressing room. Tags were ripped out of the gowns, so that you had No Idea What or Who You Were Trying On and What The Dress Should Be Really Worth. A shop in Beverly Hills insisted A Gown I was wearing -- incidentally, The Only Dress I had Tried On in their shop that I Actually Liked -- had just been Discontinued, but they could sell me The Sample Dress for Only $1500. “This is a $2900 Dress!” they explained. “You would be getting A Steal!” The next day, we saw The Exact Same Dress in another store, for $500 and we were told it was in no way “Discontinued.” Apparently, The Only Steal in the other store was going to be The $1000 They wanted to Steal from Me.

And, so now I can move on to Bigger and Better Things. Like, Picking A Photographer. And Finding A Florist. And we still need to Recruit A Rabbi. Let’s just hope that None of these people make me Stand Naked On Footprints, Steal My Money, or try to Lower Their Goods On Top Of My Head.

Because that would make me feel Really Awkward in front of A Florist.


the slackmistress said...

You should make people stand naked on footprits with their hands up and have their picture taken before they're allowed into the wedding.

Of course, it may not be a coincidence that I am NOT a wedding coordinator.

But it would make an already memorable day even MORE memorable!

evilsciencechick said...

Did you go to David's bridal? The funniest part of the whole dress shopping experience for my mother and i was there. As the lady crammed us both into bathroom stall sized dressing rooms with 5 poofy dresses, shoes, and embarrassing undergarments. We just cracked up for 10 minutes at the ridiculousness of it all. I didn't get my dress there.

Yay for finding your dress! You know...you could email a description or a link to a photo to some people. If you wanted to. Because there might be some people who REALLY REALLY want to see your gorgeous dress!


Randi said...


No, I did not go to David's Bridal because I heard Nightmare Stories about them.

I would e-mail You (and Everyone Else) a Description/Picture/Link of/to My Dress, but The Blogging Community is Too Small, and I don't want to take The Risk. You will get a chance to See It in something, like 219 Days.

OMG!!! Only 219 Days????!!!


Anonymous said...

I'm happy you found it so easily! I hate that they are sized BIGGER than regular clothes so I always felt like a fat ass.

Nanette said...

I'm so excited for you!!!

Diane Mandy said...

Yay!!! I'm so happy you found *the* dress! I hope you will post pictures of it after the wedding. Yes?

Anonymous said...

I'm convinced that bridal store owners/salespeople are frustrated used car salespeople. And I hate David's Bridal for many reasons, not the least of which is that they sell/give your name & # to all sorts of shady vendors who make use of threats as a sales strategy.

Cybele said...

Hm, I actually WORKED at David's Bridal. As a culture, it's not ideal. But there's a lot to be said for walking out of the store, gown in hand.

Congratulations, TDR. And you should dress up in the gown every anniversary and go out to dinner. You'll get extra special treatment, believe me.

Green said...

You have to sign in? Are they worried you'd ... what? Why would you have to sign in? I'd totally be using a fake name. Glad you and your sister had a productive weekend!

Anastasia Beaverhausen
Regina Philange

Traci Dolan said...

Yay!!! You found your dress! I'm sure it is lovely and you will look lovely in it.

That standing nekkid thing would have made me walk out. No. thank. you.

Anonymous said...

it was really nice of easily annoyed sister to travel all the way there to help you! it sounds like she really loves you!