Monday, October 29, 2007

Before You Die You See The Ring.

The Most Fascinating Thing about Being Engaged so far is what I like to refer to as The Examination Of The Ring. You know, when people hear you Got Engaged and then they say, “Hey! Let’s see The Ring!” And then they do either One of Two Things:

1. Look at The Ring real quickly and say, ”It’s Beautiful!”


2. Look at The Ring, Examine It Very Closely, and declare, “It’s A Ring!”

I find The Examination Of The Ring somewhere between Incredibly Exciting and Incredibly Rude.

The First Week I was Engaged, I wasn’t even Wearing The Ring. When Totally Awesome Fiancé picked it out, he had to Guess On The Size. So, he Snuck Into My Jewelry Box and picked out Several Rings and measured them. Trouble is, I Never Wear Rings. The Rings that Totally Awesome Fiancé found in My Jewelry Box had all been given to me by My MOM. None of them Fit, and I Didn’t Care because I Never Wore Them. But, Totally Awesome Fiancé didn’t Know They Didn’t Fit and had The Ring sized Too Large. Well, at least The Ring would fit My MOM’s Fingers perfectly. You know, incase Totally Awesome Fiancé goes all Oedipus-In-Law on me. We needed to have The Ring resized, but with all That Funeral Stuff going on, we didn’t really have time.

This meant, however, that every time I mentioned to someone, “I Got Engaged!”” I had No Ring To Produce. “I Swear!!! I have A Ring!!!” I pleaded. But, whomever I was speaking to would Lose All Interest. Without A Ring Ready, I had No Proof Of To-Be-Weddy.

“We need to get The Ring Resized!!!!!” I begged Totally Awesome Fiancé. “They all think I Am mistaking Engaged To Be Married with Engaged And Disparaged! I MUST PRODUCE A RING!!”

Eventually, we had The Ring made to Fit and now I can Wear It. All those Naysayers are now Say-Yayers! Well, at least Half are anyway.

One Woman I Work With last week asked to see The Ring. “Ohhh,” she said. “It’s So Dainty!”

Dainty? DAINTY??!! I think she meant Small. Sort of The Way Real Estate Agents refer to Tiny Bathrooms as Charming.

Listen, I know My Ring is not Large compared to Posh Spice’s Sparkler. But, Size Doesn’t Matter to me, my friends. My Engagement Ring is a Treasure from A Man Who Loves Me Very Much. I still can’t believe that Totally Awesome Fiancé was So Thoughtful to have Secretly Picked it Out and Presented It to Me!!!! I think it is The Nicest Thing I Have Even Owned in my entire life! Well, aside from That Marc Jacobs Dress I wore to Thanksgiving Dinner last year.

Wow. I forgot about That Dress. I can wear it on New Years!

Well, that is as long as it is Not Too Dainty. I think I may have gone Up A Dress Size.

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You will die in seven days.


the slackmistress said...

I only ask to see the ring when I know there is a ring to see. And the only word to be used is beautiful. Or amazing, or fabulous, or gorgeous, or...we give 'em a dainty ring-sized imprint in their face. Capisce? ;)

evilsciencechick said...

I had a plain silver band substitute ring for two weeks after getting engaged, so I had a very similar experience.

"we got engaged!"

"oh yay! let's see the ring!"

"umm...well, it's not really the ring yet, it's just a plain silver band until the real ring has been made..."

"oh. well. 'congratuations' anyway."

I actually HEARD the QUOTES!

and your ring is LOVELY. Major props to totally awesome...fiance' (TAF?) for picking it out all by himself! :)

Diane Mandy said...

Your ring is beautiful. When max and I were talking engagement, I didn't want a ring at all. I had been married twice before and ended up giving the rings to my sibings when I divorced. And I think for this reason, I didn't want another. But Max felt that people wouldn't understand because the ring is so central in their estimation, so he went ahead and bought me one anyway. our tale just sort of proves he was right.

Nanette said...

"I find The Examination Of The Ring somewhere between Incredibly Exciting and Incredibly Rude."

Ruh-roh. I hope I was in the "incredibly exciting" category when I did that to you on Friday night. It IS quite beautiful. :)

Anonymous said...

I think it's absolutely GORGEOUS!

(*Ahem* Do you think you can have Incredibly Awesome Fiance talk to my B? I'd appreciate that!)

Anonymous said...

sooooo beautiful you lucky lucky girl! :)

geewits said...

It's all about THE LOVE. Ignore those people. They are just jealous of THE LOVE.

Kay said...


you have nothing to worry about, that ring looks like a good size to me! i don't have a big rock (not even close to the avg size women get these days---i am also not knocking those girls that have big ones, everyone is different) i am happy with what i have because it is from my love, who i know at the time had to work really hard to get me one. My hubby has always said he got off the hook with getting something smaller because i had skinny fingers ant it makes my rock appear larger =p

also, i never know if i should ask to see the ring when some has announced that they are engaged b/c to be honest i don't care about that stuff, but i feel compelled to say something b/c i don't want them to think i don't care b/c usually a bride to be is really excited....i don't know

but congrats again

Michelle said...

Congrats again! Your ring is absolutely beautiful! TAF did a fantastic job!!

I think sometimes those other people forget that you are equally engaged/married whether or not you have a ring.

It's as if the success of a marriage depended solely on wearing a ring.

I think the story of TDR and TAF is off to a wonderful start!! Enjoy each and every day of it!! :)

... said...

damn, I saw the ring! hmm, do you think you can put off that "death" thingy until (umm, well) let me get back to you with that!

Congrats! Let's just say that you have at least another 3-4 months of that (and depending on when the actual wedding date is) you'll have another couple of months after that when people want to see the (dun-dun-dun) WEDDING BAND! :)

Take care.

Anonymous said...

See now, I would have given her the finger and said, "How's this for dainty?" But that's just me.

Anonymous said...

If anyone calls your ring 'breathtaking,' ask him if he's been watching Seinfeld.

Me? I think your ring looks great!

Tricia Roth said...

That whole thing was just cute, cute, cute! Thanks for the fun read.

I thought the ring examination meant you examining your ring at all hours. My boss and I were engaged at the same time, and we were in a meeting together once. An engineer suddenly laughed out loud when he caught us independently staring out our diamonds, twisting this way then that way to catch the light. Have you spent lots of time examining your own ring, yet?