So, A Giant Banana Walks Into A (Juice) Bar…

A Brand New Robek’s Juice just opened down the street from Where I Work. To promote the store, they have Hired A Man to Stand On The Corner In A Banana Suit With A Giant Arrow pointing towards the new store. The Corner he stands at has A Traffic Light, so I have an opportunity to Look Long And Hard at The Banana Guy while I Am Stopped every morning. He is Short, probably around Late Forties, and he looks as if he is of Mexican Decent. And, of course, he is Dressed Like A Giant Banana. Well, A Giant Banana With A Goatee.

I didn’t think much of The Banana Guy when I saw him That First Morning. He Looked Pretty Miserable, I know that. But, he Looked Even More Miserable when I saw that he was Still Standing On The Corner on My Way Home From Work. In my head, I quickly calculated The Number Of Hours he had been standing on the corner. Seven? Eight? Seven or Eight Hours! And Seven or Eight Hours is Way Too Long for A Guy Dressed Up Like A Giant Banana to be Standing On The Corner. This meant, The Giant Banana had An Eight Hour Giant Banana Shift! That’s Bananas!

And then, I started Thinking about What A Man Dressed Up Like A Giant Banana would Think About for Eight Long Hours while Standing On The Corner and Holding The Giant Arrow. Probably, he is Thinking About How He Needs To Get A New Job because The One He Has Now – Standing On The Corner For Eight Hours While Dressed As A Giant Banana Holding A Giant Arrow For Some Stupid Juice Place – Really Really Sucks. And then I started Thinking that The Manger of The Brand New Robek’s Juice Store that opened down the street from Where I Work must be A Really Really Sucky Manager because Hiring A Guy To Dress Like A Giant Banana And Stand On The Corner For Eight Hours is Terrible For Employee Morale. Better to assign him A Shorter Shift! Or, give him Other Responsibilities, too! But, definitely, Don’t Make Him Stand Out There All Day Dressed As A Giant Banana because I can guarantee you, The Thought: ”I Need A New Job!” will enter his Giant Banana-Enshrouded Head at some point during The Eight Hour Giant Banana Shift he works and then he may Quit and you will have to Hire A Brand New Sucker To Stand Out There All Day Dressed As A Giant Banana, and that Can’t Be Easy.

Of course, I also started Thinking, “Hey! Maybe He Gets Free Juice Drinks!”

And that seemed like A Pretty Good Incentive.