**Maybe You Had To Be There

This past weekend, Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I were watching a movie he had Netflixed. It was a thriller, called Hard Candy and it was really Just Okay.

In The Movie, there is A Scene where One Of The Characters is being Tortured. How is The Character Tortured, you ask? He is Castrated By A Very Angry Fourteen Year Old Girl while Strapped To His Kitchen Table. Watching this scene, The Viewer feels Tortured, too. And Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I were No Exception. Torture, Tortured, Torturous!

“As if I don’t have enough Anxiety! Now, I have to Walk Around The World Worrying that Your Balls May Get Cut Off!” I lamented to Totally Awesome Boyfriend while watching the movie, resting my head on his shoulder.

Totally Awesome Boyfriend stroked my hair and kissed my cheek before he sighed, “You don’t have to Worry, The Daily Randi.” Chuckling as he wrapped his arms around me protectively, he added, “No one is going to Cut Off My Balls.”

I waited a moment before I looked up at him, “You don’t Know That,” I said. And, then I turned back to Watch The Movie.

Totally Awesome Boyfriend let a moment pass this time himself. But, then he said, “What? Are You planning on Cutting Off My Balls?”

I turned my head to look at him. “WHAT??!!” I admonished. “Of Course Not! That is Crazy Talk! I would Never Ever Ever Cut Off Your Balls, Totally Awesome Boyfriend!”

And, then, turning back to Watch The Movie, I kissed him and said, “If anything, I would Attach An Extra Set!! Just so I Wouldn't Have To Walk Around The World Worrying!” **