Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Daily Randi Wonders Aloud, “How Could This Happen?”

• My New York Mets lost Game 7 to The Stupid Lousy St. Louis Cardinals. How could this Happen!? My Theory is that God just feels Sorry for St. Louis because The City Sucks So Much. Trust me -- I have been to St. Louis. I went up in The Stupid Arch and Everything. There is just A Dumb Postcard Shop up top and, like, Really Tiny Windows to look out of, but all you look out over is East St. Louis which is even Suckier than Regular Centered St. Louis. Well, I got News For You, St. Louis -– God feels Even Sorrier for Detroit. Because Everyone Knows: Detroit Really Really Sucks!

• Tonight, I ran out of Toilet Paper. How could this Happen!? I am So Organized when it comes to this sort of thing! I mean, I have A Magnetic Notepad on My Refrigerator where I keep A Grocery List and whenever I Run Out Of Something, I write down, “Get More [Fill In Desired Product In Need Of Replenishing] right there, on Said Magnetic Notepad. So, you see, it is Virtually Impossible to Run Out Of Toilet Paper if you are Me. The Worst Part is, I Just Came Back From The Store. I am Refusing to Go Out Again just to Teach Myself A Lesson. Instead, I shall rely on Discarded Leaves from my many House Plants, ala Survivor.

• I can’t stop saying, “Vas – O No Vas.” How could this Happen!? I saw A Commercial for Vas- O No Vas on Spanish Language Television last week. And I thought it was Funny, because it is like Deal - Or No Deal. Except In Spanish! And I started Saying It Over And Over Again. And now, I Can't Stop. That's right -- I can't say No Vas to saying "Vas -- O No Vas."

2 comments:

'Mazing Amy said...

yummy.com is your friend. they will also deliver nutter butters. :)

Hilary said...

Excuse me while I interrupt the Detroit bashing.

I am quite happy that the Mets lost, because now I don't have to worry about not rooting for Shawn Green while I watch my Tigers win!