Sunday, September 03, 2006

Side Ways

While I was in on My Big East Coast Tour, Totally Awesome Boyfriend did Something to his Back. One morning, he just woke up and it Hurt. That afternoon, while roaming through the street vendors of Soho, I received A Text Message from him: This is what happens when I sleep without you for too long.

Upon returning to Los Angeles and Sleeping With Totally Awesome Boyfriend, his Muscle Aches did not go away. So, one night, he suggested, “Maybe we need to Switch Sides Of The Bed!”

“Okay!” I agreed. Sleeping On The Other Side Of The Bed seemed to me to be a pretty simple solution.

That night, I was the one Tossing, Turning, and Trouble-Aching. I kept Waking Up in the middle of the night, not knowing Where I Was. Then, I would get my bearings back and realize, “Oh. I am just on The Wrong Side Of The Bed!” Emphasis, on Wrong.

See, Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I had already firmly established Which Sides Of The Bed We Slept On. I sleep on The Left; He on The Right. Coincidentally, My Parents slept in their bed The Same Way. And, it Never Varied. In fact I remember once asking My MOM when I was A Kid, “Why do you Always Sleep On The Left Hand Side and Daddy sleeps on The Right?” Her response? “BECAUSE THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS!!!!”

For once, I understand that MOM was Right. I don’t know How or When Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I Determined our Bed Sides. Even when I am Sleeping Solo, I still seem to stick to My Side! But, That Is Just The Way It Is.

The next morning, Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I woke up, Tangled and Twisted Up in the bed sheets and blankets. As usual, Totally Awesome Boyfriend leaned over and greeted me with Sweet Kisses.

“Did you sleep Okay?” he asked, as he Always Does.

“NO,” I responded, as I Never Do.

“Yeah. Me, neither.”

And then, without needing to say a word, we climbed over one another, Switching Back to our Regular Sides Of The Bed. And All was Right In The World, once again.

Well, All except for Totally Awesome Boyfriend’s Back. It Still Hurt. I told him he needed A Very Special Massage and I would Provide It For Him.

That way This Story could have A Happy Ending.



Anonymous said...

Heh, "Happy Ending".

You know that, when Sensous Massage Artists are Actually Prostitutes, they put in their Craigslist Adverts that they "Guarantee a 'Happy Ending'." That way, they can Let The Guy Know that he will Get His Rocks Off.

I doubt you Knew That, The Daily Randi, because you are a Nice Girl Who Would Never Read Those Ads. I just liked the Irony Of It All.

I'm a Nice Girl Too, but not as Nice as You.

(Blogger Beta won't let me Sign In AND Comment on your Blogger Alpha Blog. Blogger Beta is a Big Omega.)

Anonymous said...

Funny. Just last night Current Boy and I switched sides of the bed because MY back hurt. Of course, this is because I have been sleeping in a TRAILER, but I wanted to sleep on "his" side of the bed because, well, it's firmer since it is usually empty. No tossing or turning here, though. We slept just fine. Then again, my back still hurts. Sorry I missed you in New York. Hope your trip was fun.

Stacey said...

I loved this story. And I love your blog (even though I sleep on the right and totally awesome hubby sleeps on the left)! Thanks for stopping by my blog. :)

gooblythe said...

mom slept on the right side of the bed. duh. i know because i used to fall asleep on the left side of her when i waited for daddy to come home from work. are we from different families?