Monday, August 14, 2006

Totally Focused, Minus The Focus

On Saturday, I bought A Brand New Car. I got myself The Car I Always Wanted – A 2006 Toyota RAV4. Well, Okay, The Car I Always Wanted was actually A Jeep. But, after owning Two Horrible Fords, I had sworn off American Made Vehicles forever. Now I am All About The Japanese, Baby. But, also, for Work, I ride around with A Trunk Chock Full O’ Costumes, Props, and Craft Supplies. I could have done An Advertisement for Ford, showing How Much Crap One Could Cram Into A Focus ZX3 Hatchback. I really needed A Bigger Car. Oh, and The Whole Thing Last Week About The Transmission Being Shot On My Old Car. Yeah, I wasn’t So Into That. I needed to Cut My Losses Quick, I figured. So, I took The Money I would have spent on Repairing The Transmission On My Suddenly Shitty Ford Focus With Only 50,000 Miles On It and Invested It Into A Brand New, Reliable Toyota RAV4 With Only 8 Miles On It.

Purchasing A New Car when you are A Woman is a somewhat delicate task. Although I had read Countless Books about How To Buy A New Car, done all my research, and knew exactly what price I wanted to get for the price of the automobile, Dealer after Horrible Dealer seemed not to take me Seriously. Finally, on Saturday Afternoon, I stumbled upon A Dealer who Did and they got The Sale and My Money.

Now, I don’t want to Brag, but I did A Pretty Fucking Awesome Job at buying my car. I haggled my way up on the price of My Shitty Trade In, I got them Only $250 Above The Dealer Invoice, and then I got them to Lower My Interest Rate and Payments. I even got them to throw in An Extra Full Tank of gas and The Optional Accessories for the rear cargo area. The People Trying To Buy A Car At The Desk Next To Where I Was Sitting were even Impressed, leaning over to jokingly ask me to Help Them Out during a lull in their negotiations. I was Wowing Myself, too, each time The Sales People agreed to something I thought may be Outlandish.

And so, Saturday afternoon, I found myself on a car lot in Scorching Hot Van Nuys, cleaning out My Old Sad 2001 Ford Focus and loading up My New Happy 2006 Toyota RAV4. Even though I was having problems with The Focus, I was A Bit Sad to Say Goodbye. At the time I bought it, I was 29 and Still Waiting Tables. It was September 13, 2001, so it was Right After 9/11 and I remember I was The Only One In The Car Dealership At The Time. Everyone was walking around with A Morbid Attitude because we all figured The World Was Coming To An End. Buying My New Car in 2001 was The Biggest Purchase I Had Ever Made In My Life. And I had No Idea where I would be Five Or Six Years Later when I had Finally Paid Off My Financing and Traded The Car In.

But, Here I Am. The World is Still Here. I now have A Fabulous Job and Flourishing Career that I Totally Adore. I have A Brand New, Very Expensive Computer and A Brand New, (Not So) Expensive New Car. And I am In Love With The Most Amazing Man, who, incidentally, brought A Delicious, Celebratory, Iced Coffee Beverage to me at The Car Dealership and Gave Me A Big Giant Congratulatory Kiss once he heard I Had Finally Purchased A New Car. I don’t think I could have Predicted All That five years ago.

And so I wonder where I may be when it is Time To Rid Myself of This New Car -- I will be in My Mid 40’s! But, if These Past Five Years are Any Indication, then I should be In A Pretty Fucking, Most Unpredictable, Awesome Place, once again.

And then, naturally, I will buy myself A Brand New, Very Expensive Mercedes.


the Yearning Heart said...

Excellent Work! You'll find that Toyotas are Really Well Put Together, so it Might Last till you're 55 Or Beyond. In Which Case, when you're Finally Ready For The Mercedes, you can always Sell Your Rav4 To Your Oldest Child.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I read your blog for the first time today and have to ask, what is the deal with the random capitalization? I find it distracting... am I missing something?

Michael said...

The Daily Randi with her Awesome New Car has Set the Trend regarding Capitalization. The Yearning Heart has Caught On and So Have I. C'mon, Anonymous, Hit that Shift Key. All the Cool Kidz are doing it!

Anonymous said...

Congrats The Daily Randi! You deserve all the good things happening: a flourishing career, Totally Awesome Boyfriend and a fabulous new car! Hooray for good times!

Crystal said...

Congrats Randi! Great job. Looks like life is wonderful for you. :o)

Anonymous said...

Enjoy it! I bought something similiar, the Honda CRV when I bought this house and love it with no immediate plans to trade it in. My son covets it in fact.

Scribe LA said...

Congrats, Randi! All sounds swell.... keep on keeping on, as you're clearly on the right track.