Thursday, August 10, 2006

Project Boyfriend

Last night, I Forced Totally Awesome Boyfriend to watch One Of My Favorite Television Shows, Project Runway. You would think, considering his aforementioned Crush on Orlando Bloom that Any Display Of Force would be Completely Unnecessary. But, Totally Awesome Boyfriend Despises Fashion. Therefore, a show like, Project Runway would be, like Totally Awesome Boyfriend’s Worst Ever Nightmare.

I Coerced him into watching it with me with by way of The Obvious Ploys: “Project Runway is hosted by Heidi Klum! She’s Hot, right? And there are Other Models, too! You, know, Really, Really Hot Chicks dressed in Fancy Clothes?! You like Really, Really Hot Chicks in Fancy Clothes!”

“I like You in Fancy Clothes. Are You on This Stupid Show?”

“No,” I sighed. “I Wish.”

Totally Awesome Boyfriend just glared at me. “What channel?” he ultimately inquired, quite reluctantly. Oh, goody! He had been Successfully Coerced!

Unfortunately, My Self-Congratulatory Coercion Celebration was Way Too Premature. Not five minutes after the program had begun, Totally Awesome Boyfriend suddenly proclaimed, “Oh My GOD, I am LOSING BRAIN CELLS!!!” And then He Stood Up In A Huff. I should mention, he thinks He Loses Brain Cells when I Force Him To Watch My Other Favorite Shows Of All (Current) Time, The Hills. And Laguna Beach. Basically, Anything Really Really Good.

I decided to attempt Another Tactic.

“Look, They are Sewing!!” I pointed out, proudly. “That One broke The Sewing Machine!!”

And, That was It. Totally Awesome Boyfriend announced he was Going To Sleep and Marched Into His Bedroom. And I guess I was supposed to Follow.

“But, they haven’t Eliminated Anyone yet! And, Michael Kors is Back!!” I called after him.

Silence. Complete and Utter Silence.

“Vera Wang has Finally Been Banished!!” I continued, hopefully.

So, Okay. We can’t Always agree on My Favorite Television Shows. And, I guess I should be Pleased that he doesn’t have Any Interest in A Show like Project Runway. I mean, if He Did, I might Really Have To Worry. After That Whole Orlando Bloom Thing, and all, you know. And besides –That Morning, he had Secretly Gotten Up to make me Delicious (Dark) Chocolate Chip And Banana Pancakes – from Scratch -- which is My Absolute Favorite Type Of Breakfast. And then he told me that He Loved Me.

So, that should just go to Show you, I can fully look past the fact Totally Awesome Boyfriend doesn’t Love Shows about Sewing.

He Loves Me, and That Is All That Really Matters.

(And, of course, I Love Tivo.)

1 comment:

Michael said...

Shave Orlando Bloom, dye his hair, and put him in auf-ful outfits (even worse than pirate garb) and he IS Heidi Klum.