Thursday, May 11, 2006

Dear Daily Randi: Sending Out An SOS

It's Thursday and that means it is The Daily Randi Advice Day! Keep those e-mails coming and please remember, I have no idea what I am talking about........

Dear Daily Randi:

The other day, I did The Stupidest Thing. I Text Messaged an Old Boyfriend. I don't know Why I did it. Probably because No Boys Had Called All Day and when I don't meet My Personal Quota of One Phone Call From At Least One Boy A Day, I get Sad and Lonely and then I do Stupid Things like Text Message Old Boyfriends. I know what you are thinking -- But I Swear, I Wasn't Drunk! This was Not Drunk Dialing! This was Teetotaler Texting! So, I have No Excuse.

My question is this, The Daily Randi: What do I do now that he has Texted Me Back? I didn't really want to hear from him.

Sober and Sending Out The Wrong Signals

Dear Big Fat Lying Girl,

U mean 2 tell me that Out Of The Blue, u just decided 2 E-Mail An Old Boyfriend and U Hadn't Had Anything To Drink? Not even A Glass Of Wine?

U may think I am belittling U, but I am actually Quite Relieved. This whole time, I thought I was The Only 1 who sent Secret Messages 2 Cute Boys Of Yore, via E-Mail! Or Text Message! Or Instant Message! Or Picking Up The Phone And Dialing And Then Hanging Up When I Heard Their Voice Mail Message! Sans Alcoholic Incentive! Now I know, I Am Not Alone!

Unfortunately, however, Drunk or No Drunk, we have Very Nasty Habits. Sure, Messaging Someone w/ Today's Modern Technology may seem Fun and Xciting and Innocent at 1st: “What's The Harm W/ A Single Emoticon Being Sent 2 A Single Boy (Who Can’t Show His Emotions)?” u ask yourself. But, next think u know, u r Texting for Sex Things and then Your Entire Life Spirals Out Of Control and Your Sidekick actually Kicks You. I knew I had hit Rock Bottom when I found myself 2 IMing someone, even though he and I had agreed that we had An Xclusive Messaging Relationship. My friend, your Last Straw may be The Moment The Old Boyfriend Wrote Back. I fear we require the services of some sort of 12 Step Program. I may start The Messagers Anonymous Meeting Movement, myself!

Well, just as soon as I IM everyone and tell them where 2 meet.

My Name Is The Daily Randi And I Am A Textaholic,

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