Taking E Dump

Last week, I got E-Dumped. Happy Valentine's Day!

Of course, I had heard about the elusive Dumping By E-Mail before. In fact, Dionnecey (Not Her Real Name) was E-Dumped only a few months ago. Naturally, she met the E-Dumper via E-Mail. "You Meet Via E-Mail, you get Dumped Via E-Mail," she reasoned.

So, when I read the E-Mail from Future First Husband telling me he was Ambivalent About Going Out Again, I was Annoyed. Or rather, E-Nnoyed. Sure, I knew that Divorce lay in the cards. You are not A Future First Husband if there isn't assured A Future Second Husband. I just Couldn't Believe he didn't have The Nerve To Phone Me and Tell Me What He Was Thinking. I wouldn't have Reacted Poorly. In fact, I would have Suggested An Annulment! Or, rather, An E-Nnulment.

But, instead, I Typed Him Back with A Perfect Retaliation. Or, rather, E-Taliation:

"Dude, Grow Some Balls."

And, it only seemed E-Ppropriate.