Friday, December 02, 2005

That's My Queue!

I love The Netflix. In case you live under a rock, or don't own A DVD Player, Netflix is sort of like An On-Line Blockbuster, minus The Hideous Late Fees and The-Movie-You-Wanted-To-Watch-Is-Out Disappointment. I switched to Netflix, after I went to Blockbuster earlier this year and The Strange Blockbuster Guy kept mysteriously addressing me by My First Name and Following Me Around The Store, pretending to put Movies Away, shouting after me, "I saw you at the Gas Station, The Daily Randi!" And, "I watched you Walk To Your Car last night!" And, "I really like your hair! We should Listen To Records together! My Parents are Out Of Town!" Getting my movies On-Line seemed like a much more Practical Choice.

You sign up for A Nifty Netflix Plan and for just A Few Dollars A Month they Send You DVDs! See, Netflix works a lot like Christian Children's Fund, except instead of getting Depressed by The Sad, Starving Kids you Get To Watch Lots Of Movies! But, that is not The Best Part! The Best Part is that The films You Select To be Sent To You get put on "Your Queue." They could have just called it "A List." But, instead, they did The British Thing and made it All Fancy, just so that when you go to rent a movie like, "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" you can still feel Super Smart and Quite Continental. I like the word, "Queue" and now I try to use it At Least Once A Day because I remember My Fifth Grade Reading Teacher told me once that if you want to add A New Word to Your Regular Vocabulary, you need to use it 1000 Times. It worked with, "Shit!" So, I figure, if I keep referring to My Shopping List as My Grocery Queue, in Four Years it will just come Naturally.

And, then I will finally feel Really Smart, despite My Inferior Purchases of Diet Coke, Fruit Loops, and Oh-So-Delicious String Cheese.

Shit, yeah!

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