Friday, November 11, 2005

Invading MySpace

My name is The Daily Randi, and I am a My Space-aholic.

In case some of you are not familiar with My Space-aholism, it is the Addiction to The Very Popular and Ever-Expanding Website, known as My Space. My Space is sort of like Friendster, but Everyone and Anyone Can Be Your Friend and there are sometimes Naked People. This makes My Space Infinitely Hipper. Also, you can leave Comments for People and when you do, they can see Your Picture! This is So Much More Fun than E-Mail!

I am not really sure where My Powerlessness Over My Space stems from, but I bet I can trace Its Roots to The Cutest Boy Ever because that is where I Met Him. Or maybe it was to The Worst Guy Ever Ever Ever because that is where I Met Him, Too. Or, maybe It All Started with The Latest Boyfriend, from several months ago, whom I also Met On My Space. Um, I meet A Lot Of Guys on My Space. Maybe that is Where The Whole "Can't Stay Away" Thing Comes From. Regardless, now, I find myself on there Everyday, Several Times A Day, All Day. Weird, Strange Men write me letters all the time and Beg Me For Friendship! Usually, I do not Grant It, just like in Seventh Grade when This Boy Wrote Me A Note On A Scrap Of Loose Leaf And Slipped It Into My Locker, Asking Me To Go To His Soccer Game After School and I Ignored It and went to Play Rehearsal instead. But, sometimes I do Approve The Request, especially if The Strange Men Are Cuter Than They Are Stranger. And then, ultimately, I Date Them and Sleep With Them.

The Best/Worst Part of My Space is that you can choose 8 People from your List Of Friends to be Your Top Eight Friends. This means that they show up on your Front Page. I can spend Hours, agonizing over who should Make The Cut and be placed in My Top Eight. Now I know how Diddy feels on Making The Band! As a joke, I only have Men I Have Slept With up there now. But, Good Friend Who Always Takes Me Out When A Boy Doesn't Call and I were Talking and it turns out we both get written to by a lot of Jailed Men Living In Northern Africa, and I Told Her that I was going to Approve Their Friendship and Make The African Prisoners My Top Eight Friends and she said She Was Going To, Also, so now it a Race Between Us To See Who Can Claim Eight Jailed Men Living In Northern Africa As Their Top Eight Friends First!

Hopefully, those Africans are sitting in their Prison Cell trying to see Who Can Get Eight Girls From California To Be Their Top Eight Friends. That will make This Contest so much more Easier.

And maybe, it will help me spend A Bit Less Time on My Space, too.

No comments: