Thursday, November 10, 2005

Getting Down To The Knitty-Gritty

On Sunday Afternoon, after I had Broken Up With The Cutest Boy Ever For The Fifth Time That Week, I decided I needed to Take Action. And, so, I did what I usually do when I Break Up With A Boy: I Cleaned.

Anything that The Cutest Boy Ever had either Touched, Leaned Against, or simply Gazed At, I Eliminated. I Stripped My Bed! I Scrubbed The Bathtub! I Vacuumed and Mopped, and Sanitized, and Swifted! Finally, I Laundered Every Piece Of Clothing I Had Ever Worn In The Cutest Boy's Midst, even if It Wasn't Dirty! "If He Had Seen It, I Need To Clean It!" was My Motto.

And, then, when I was Done and I was Satisfied that everything was Just As It Ought To Be, I got into my car, drove to the yarn store, and got all the tools I needed to Knit The Cutest Boy Ever A Hat For Christmas. Never mind that I Didn't Think I Would Ever See Him Again; This was An Exercise in Self-Gratification! I wanted to Make My Boyfriend A Holiday Hat! And if The Cutest Boy Ever was not going to be My Boyfriend, then I would Give The Hat To Someone Who Would Be, Wherever That Someone May Be, Even If It Is Not The Holidays Any Longer, And Even If The Hat Sits In A Drawer Collecting Moths For Weeks, Months, Or Even (Shoot Me If This Happens) Years! I Was Giving A Boyfriend A Homemade Hat!

But, probably, I will just end up Wearing The Hat Myself. After all, it is A Really Nice Hat.

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