Dear Daily Randi: J. Lo Is Giving Me A Complex

It's Thursday and that means it is The Daily Randi Advice Day! Keep those cards and letters coming and please remember, I have no idea what I am talking about........

Dear The Daily Randi:

I have a thought that has been really bugging me: How is it that Jennifer Lopez has managed to find Three Different Men To Marry Her -- and that is not even taking into account her Many Broken Engagements -- and I can't find One Boy Who Is Even Willing To Take Me Out To Dinner, let alone spend The Rest Of Their Life With Me (or at least the next 1-2 years)?

Signed,
Really Hungry

Dear Starved:

Jennifer Lopez has A Whole Lot Of Money. If I were you, I would try to make a Whole Lot Of Money, too! Then, be sure to join Kabballah and get a Boob Job. Also, Green is the New Pink. After that, maybe you, too, will get Married!

It Is Easy To Find A Husband When You Use What I Learned Reading Us Magazine,
The Daily Randi