Thursday, September 30, 2004

Beyonce Is My Homegirl

My car stereo needed to be Repaired about a month ago. It seemed that I would be driving, singing along to whatever I was listening to, and the darn thing would just Turn Off. If I started to push its buttons, it would Turn Back On again. At first, it was funny to me that this Kept Happening because it was if the stereo Didn't Like My Singing Ability and was Responding Accordingly. Eventually, it got Plain Annoying, especially when it started to happen More And More Frequently, so I took My Annoying Car Stereo to my car dealer and made them Fix It. Luckily, it was covered Under Warranty.

But, you can imagine How Upset I was when I went to Pick Up My Newly Repaired Car Stereo Car, and they told me they had Replaced My Car Stereo with a Brand New One, but The CD That Was Inside The Old Broken Car Stereo would be sent to me in Four To Six Weeks. The CD that was Inside? You guessed it -- it was My Beloved Beyonce CD. How was I going to live Four To Six Long, Lonely, Lifeless Weeks without My Beloved Beyonce? This was some sort of Cruel Joke!

Sadly, No One Was Laughing, so I had No Choice but to Drive Away and hope they would Call Me, as promised, when my CD was Ready For Pick Up, which hopefully would be on the Shorter End Of The Four To Six Weeks Scenario. Oh, but Weeks Went By. Sad, Lonely Beyonce-Less Weeks. I would hear Crazy In Love on the radio, get All Excited and start to Sing Along, go to Look For My CD In My Glove Compartment so I could Hear Beyonce Sing It Again And Again and Again, and then - Ugh! The Pain! I would Remember: I was Sans CD! Sans My Beloved Beyonce! I would stick in my Destiny's Child CD, but it is So Not The Same because Those Other Two To Three Girls Depending On The Album are not as Fine As My Beyonce and then I would try and Sing The Songs On My Own, but no one does it like Beyonce and then I started to Miss Her and would Feel Lonely, Hyperventilate, and Cry.

On Friday, I got The Call. A woman in Customer Service At My Car Dealer called me to tell me that there was A Beyonce CD In Her Office With My Name On It! I was so Excited! This was almost as good as hearing that there was A Woman Named Beyonce In Her Office With My Name On Her! My CD has finally been Returned!

Beyonce CD, I Love You. Please, Never Leave My Side Again. Or, at the very least, Don't Ever Get Stuck In A Car Stereo In A Car That I Own, That Keeps Annoyingly Turning Off And Then Gets Replaced With A Brand New One Before You Are Taken Out. Because I don't know what was More Annoying -- Being without Beyonce or Having A Car Stereo That Kept Turning Off.

Unfortunately, Being Without Beyonce was not Covered Under My Warranty. Otherwise, I would surely have demanded a Beyonce Loaner.

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