Thursday, August 02, 2007

¡Dos De Augusto!

A few weeks ago, I was Lounging Around on My Garden Patio. Our Patio is A Great Place to Relax, because it is Shaded by This Huge, Old Magnolia Tree that sits in the center. Totally Cozy.

I was Reading My Book, which at the time was Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. It Sucked, but it was A Page Turner and that’s Why I Was Reading It. Summer is A Great Time to Purposefully Read Sucky Books – save December for the likes of Pride and Prejudice, I say! Anyhow, I was Reading, when An Avocado Suddenly Fell Down From The Sky!! I thought I was Seeing Things until a few minutes later when – It Happened AGAIN!! It was Raining Avocados! Holy Guacamole!

Quickly, I threw down my book and ran into the house. “Totally Awesome Boyfriend, Avocados are Falling From The Sky!” I alerted my housemate. Hurry, and Bring some Tortilla Chips!”

Totally Awesome Boyfriend sauntered outside, suspiciously.

“Where?” he said. I could tell from His Tone, he was Pretty Doubtful that God Wanted Us To Suddenly Eat A Mexican Feast.

“Up there!” I pointed. “I was just Sitting Here and Reading My Book and then suddenly Avocados Fell Down On Me! From The Sky! Two Of Them! Oh, Wait! -- Do you think this is Some Sort Of Mexican Act Of Terrorism?”

“Hmmm,” he thoughtfully murmured. “I noticed the other day that scattered around The Patio were These Things that looked like Avocados. I thought they could be Pods, ala Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, so I didn’t dare Touch Them. But, now I think This Tree may be An Avocado Tree!”

“Our Magnolia Tree grows Avocados, too?!” I asked. This was Getting Even Better!

“NO. It isn’t A Magnolia Tree. It’s An Avocado Tree!”

Quickly, I ran into the house and Googled images of Avocado Trees. Sure Enough, the pictures showed Exactly What We Had Growing On Our Patio! Apparently, Avocado Trees can grow Very Tall and be Very Old. Ours was Nearly Eighty, in fact! I guess because it is So Old, it doesn’t produce That Much Fruit any longer. Just the Sporadic Ones, that seem to Fall From The Sky.

“You’re Right! We have An Avocado Tree!” I informed Totally Awesome Boyfriend.

He stood next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Oh, Good,” he replied, gazing up at Our Newly Re-Identified Patio Tree. “Now I have An Excellent Excuse to do An Afternoon Tequila Shot!”


Michael said...

The Daily Randi -- always ready to guac!

That's her avocado motto.

Zacki said...

Holy Guacamole! Maybe a lime tree needs to be planted nearby....?

Cybele said...

Tequila and avocado are two of my favorite food groups.

Anonymous said...

I think something similar happened to Sir Isaac "Jose Cuervo" Newton.

This led him to discover that if you drink tequila, gravity makes you fall down.

the slackmistress said...

This may be my Favorite Entry, Ever.

Diane Mandy said...

Yo quiero gualcamole!