Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Panic At The Apartment

From time to time, I Freak Out. I mean, like Really Freak Out. Take for example, say Right Now. I am Totally Utterly Freaking Out. I can’t Breathe. I can’t Talk. I am Crying. Basically, I am Your Typical Hysterical Mess.

But, it is all for A Good Reason. I mean A Really Good Reason. Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I found A Great Apartment over the weekend. It is only A One Bedroom, but it is A Huge One Bedroom, the bottom half of a Duplex built in 1933. It has A Huge, Private Front and Side Patio, a Working, Wood Burning Fireplace, Built In Bookcases, A Dishwasher, Tons Of Storage, Spanish Tile Floors, A Wood Beam Ceiling. The place is Incredible and In Our Price Range, to boot. It even includes Utilities! And A Gardner! And we are permitted A Dog! And it is in The Best Neighborhood and A Dog Park is right around the corner!

The Irony is, I had been in The Apartment before. About Two Years ago, I attended A Holiday Soiree for Ivy League Friend. I even Blogged About It! And it was in The Very Same Apartment! I remember, when I was there, I thought The Apartment was Amazing. Ivy League Friend had lived there with His Sister School Girlfriend and they were moving Back East, so I Inquired about The Rent and Who Would Be Taking Over their lease. It was Much More than I could afford on my own. I recall feeling Pangs Of Jealousy as I was given The Grand Tour, thinking to myself, “If only I had An Ivy League Boyfriend to Live With and Split The Cost Of Renting An Amazing Apartment Like This One.” In fact, I kept telling Totally Awesome Boyfriend, “Ivy League Friend and His Girlfriend used to live in A Great Apartment.” And then I would Describe It. “We need to find one like That.”

As I was Perusing The Apartment Listings over the weekend, with My Borrowed Westside Rental Password, I noticed one describing Exactly Ivy League Friend’s Apartment. But, I wasn’t Completely Sure, so I went to Evite and looked up My Past Invites. Sure enough, it was The Same Address. Immediately, I phoned up The Landlord and made An Appointment for later that afternoon so that Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I could See It. “You may not like it,” I warned him. “It is only A One Bedroom.” We were kind of set on A Two Bedroom.

But, he Loved It. The Patio. The Neighborhood. The Clever Art Deco Touches. The Doggie Door. The Only Thing we didn’t like was The Unusual Bedroom – A Queen Sized Mattress Platform is built into The Wall. And The Bedroom Ceilings were A Bit Low. And because this is The Back Of The House, there was Only One Window In The Bedroom, all the way at the Front. Someone would have to Sleep Against The Wall. Totally Awesome Boyfriend could get Hurt Having Sex With Me because he could Hit His Head On A Low Beam. We couldn’t have A King Sized Bed.

We Thanked The Very Friendly Landlord and Left. But, we went back The Next Day. Totally Awesome Boyfriend climbed The Huge Magnolia Tree on The Patio. We Laid Next To Each Other in The Weird Bed. We still needed to Think Some More.

All day long, I have been Weighing The Pros And Cons of This Apartment. One moment I Love It, dreaming of Snuggling Up With Totally Awesome Boyfriend Next To The Fireplace. The next moment, I am Against It, thinking The Bedroom seems Claustrophobic. Finally, earlier tonight, Totally Awesome Boyfriend called me and told me He Thought We Should Take The Place. “All The Signs in The Universe are telling us to,” he said.

And then The Panic Set In.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! I am Moving In With My Boyfriend!!!!!!!! I am Totally Totally Totally Freaked Out. I mean FREAKED OUT. This is A Huge Step. HUUUUGE!!!! I Love Totally Awesome Boyfriend. I have been Wanting This. I just am So Scared Of Change, I may Throw Up. I know it is going to be Okay. Women Move In With Their Boyfriends all the time. They Get Married. Everyone Lives Happily Ever After. It is The Next Step. I know we will be Happy.

But, I think I am just Constantly Amazed that I am Winning The Happy Ending Game. And, so I Panic. I should just Stop Panicking and Start Enjoying it, I know. I Know, I Know, I Know.


And, Yes, you will All be Invited To The Housewarming Party.


evilsciencechick said...





everything is going to be OK. This is a GOOD thing. It is a HAPPY thing. it might be bumpy and weird at first, but everything is going to be just fine. you guys are MADE for each other.

AND you're going to have a faboo new apartment to decorate together!

Will said...

I had a similar reaction just before I did the same...not move in with TAB though, you know what I mean.

Hilary said...

Randi, you totally owe David the shofar player a thank you note.

Green said...

Remember on Friends when Monica had to tell Rachel she was moving in with Chandler and she cried, "And I have to move in with a BOYYYYYY!"? That's what you're reminding me of. Monica and Chandler did just fine, and you will too.

If you can afford it, mirror one wall in the bedroom - I had a mirrored wall in my last living room, and although it sounds porny, it doesn't look that way at all, but it does make the room seem bigger and makes it lighter.

Anonymous said...

Honey, if you weren't freaking out I'd be worried. :)

YAY for Awesome New Apartments!

Michelle said...

Oh TDR!!
How exciting!!! :) I agree with evilsciencechick, relax. New beginnings are always scary. This sounds like a very positive move, and the new place sounds incredible! Enjoy this wonderful time in your life!! And best of luck to you both!!! :)

Michael said...

I think what's running through the head of your Ivy League boyfriend is the song by Chef from South Park:

"I'm gonna make love to you, womannnnn!
Gonna lay ya down by the fi-rrre!"

Lori said...

Blogger comments is having a hemmorage, so my apologies if this gets posted a few times. CONGRATULATIONS!

Diane Mandy said...

I remember a feeling of panick when Max moved in. I think it's normal. Take a dep breath, it will go away. And yes, you'll be HAPPY!

Anonymous said...

Everything will be fine. I mean, he is Totally Awesome, isn't he? :)

As for the bedroom: a queen sized bed is plenty of room. I know this because I have a double bed at my place, and my Restless Leg Syndrome boyfriend and I can fit in it with room to spare for a cat or two. When we go to his place and sleep in his queen sized bed? It's like "Hey, there's all this room!" And once, when we stayed at a hotel with a king sized bed, it was like we were sleeping on different continents. I didn't like that at all.

The bedroom may be a bit small, but you guys are going to be spending most of your awake time in the other parts of the apartment. Even some of your "bed" time, if TAB has his way. ;) Enjoy it, the Universe has dropped something really cool into your lap. Yay, you!