Thursday, March 15, 2007

American Id(i)o(t)l

Dear American Idol Voter People:

Seriously, What is Wrong With You? How did The Dreadfully Bad Sunjaya not get Voted Off last night? Sure, The Kid has The Hair. But so did Justin Guarini. Remember Him? Yeah. I thought Not.

Actually, I can Relate to Poor, Horrible, Terrible Singing Sunjaya, and not because I Can’t Sing because I Can. No, I can Relate to him because back in College, after I Gained The Freshman Fifty, I started buying up Tons Of Really Cute Shoes and Dying My Hair All Sorts Of Punky, Funky Colors. I also had Lots Of Big Bulky Coats. I told people I was doing it “Just To Be Different.” And, “To Make A Statement!” But, really, it was because I was hoping to Distract Everyone From The Fifty Extra Pounds I was now carrying around. I got The Idea from An Article In Seventeen Magazine About Ricki Lake, circa 1989, where she showed off Her Hat Collection. Girlfriend had like, 300 Hats. Her Reason? “I Really Love Hats!” But, I knew her reason was more likely, “One Hat Per Pound!” Super Bad Singing Sunjaya has had like 300 Hairdos. My Guess is The Hair Dos are meant to Distract The Audience from His Super Bad Singing. But, see some of The Hair Dos have been Such Terrible Hair Don’ts that I have actually been forced to Listen To His Awful, Tone-Deaf Voice. And so, The Entire Sunjaya Experience has Sucked.

American Idol Voter People, please, please please Stop Voting For Sunjaya! I don’t want to have to Look/Listen to him after Next Week.

Besides, I want to be able to Concentrate on Really Really Hating that Beatboxer Dude.

Thank you,
The Daily Randi


Anonymous said...

LOL I could not agree with you more my friend. I blame for it.

Randi said...

Wow! I had Never Heard of before! Genius!

I mean, BOOOO!!


Gooch said...

Howard Stern has also been encouraging people to vote for Sunjaya as a goof. They should have let his sister on instead. She was hot.

Zacki said...

I completely concur Daily Randi! You are an inspiration and leader for the people who despise that sad kid.

Go Nicole Yourself said...

Dear The Daily Randi,

After Shirley Temple did not get kicked off of AI last night, I lost all faith in the youth of America. I reallly hope his hairdo is only second to the tragedy of his song choice next week. Thank you for listening.



david said...

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Randi said...


I am only leaving Your Comment up and Not Deleting It because I find it So Amusing. I mean, i know I am The Target Audience (Who doesn't Love Cute Things For Less??) but I don't think I want to be A Target Audience (Just A Cute Thing.)

Actually In Some Crazy Backwards Way I Was Led To Totally Awesome Boyfriend Via Your Ridiuculous, Insulting Post Card,

P.S. Readers who are Curious, go to January 2006 Archives.

Green said...

Le grande sigh ... I have 300 pairs of socks. Only because I do not look good in hats.

Diane Mandy said...

I agree! It's time for him to go!