Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Don't Ask Me To Shower.

I Hate Wedding Showers. Hate Them. Like, Really Really Hate Them. You have to Sit Around and Talk to Really Boring Girls and The Only Thing You Have In Common With Them is that They Know The Same Person You Know Who Is Getting Married. And then they make you play Games. Dumb Games, all about Getting Married. Like, The “Guess The Groom’s Favorite Foods!” game. Although, I admittedly do enjoy The Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Game, where you wrap up someone at the party in toilet paper, so that they look like they are wearing a wedding dress. That One makes me feel like I am on Project Runway.

So, on Sunday, I had to go to A Shower. This one showed Promise, however because Totally Awesome Boyfriend was actually The Invitee – I was merely His Plus One. A Wedding Shower for Men, too? At least The Conversation would be More Interesting.

The Shower took place in This House In Swanky Brentwood that was clearly Decorated Circa 1984. Everything was White or Red, Blue, and Green. Fake Warhols Of The Twin Bridesmaids in All Their Hideous 1980’s Haircut Glory decorated the living room wall. At least, The Aunt Of The Bride was Entertaining, insisting on taking out her digital camera to show us The Trees In Her Backyard. Aunt Bride was Very Proud of Her Trees. I don’t know -- they just looked like Your Average Trees To Me. But, I Oohed and Aahed to be Polite. And. Sure, they didn’t Play Any Games. That was A Plus, too. And they Promised that The Hideous Gift Opening Ritual would be Averted, since “Everyone Hates That Part!” But, we did have to Write Down And Read Our Marriage Advice for The Future Couple, which is Quite Difficult when You Haven’t Been Married. (My Advice? Elope!!!) Oh, and there was A Sing-Along, too. But, I digress.

No, The Best Part of The Shower On Sunday was that after The Sing-Along, someone said, “Open The Gifts!”

Thankfully, we made our Escape right then. But, I really hope they got Everything They Ever Wished For.

Eh, I mean Registered For, of course.

6 comments:

Amy, apparently a giantess said...

HA! I agree. The only thing I hate worse than Wedding Showers is Baby Showers. And I had to go to one on Sunday.

And I was the tallest woman in the room by a foot. Where does this race of munchkins hail from? I am not THAT tall.

Cybele said...

I agree with Amy, baby showers ARE worse. You have to oooh and aaaah over stupid little pink or blue blanket sleepers and pretend to be intereseted in the gender/name/pre-registered chi-chi kindergarten of a little monster who will likely be on drugs before celebrating a twelfth birthday.

What??? I LOVE children.

Barbara E. said...

Interesting. I hate the games and idle chit chat, but I really enjoy the gift opening -- whether for wedding or baby. I especially enjoy seeing what strangers (to me) have chosen as gifts for someone we both know. Plus there's food. Usually quite good -- at least at the showers I attend.

Will said...

More conversations from our home:
The scene is our apartment at bedtime.

Me- New TDR, she went to a bridal shower with TAB.

Her - Did they play the game she likes?

Me - The One with the toilet paper dress? No.

Her - How funny is it that I know the favorite shower game of a blogger I have never met?

Crazy bloggers, they're just like us.

the slackmistress said...

Dammit, Will just stole my comment. But I should add that I REMEMBERED you liked the toilet paper dress game.

I threw a baby shower for my S-i-L a couple of years ago, a brunch on a Sunday morning/afternoon. A bunch of women showed up saying they could only "stay an hour."

I replied that that was fine, but just a heads-up, there would be NO BABY SHOWER GAMES.

I ended up having to kick them out of my house five hours later. :)

I wonder, since I'm not having a wedding shower, am I obligated to go to anyone else's?

Green said...

I've only been to two wedding showers, both for snooty cousins on Long Island. I was very bored. The stupid games, the too-fancy food, the jappy friends, it all sucked. I'm not jappy enough to be a member of my family.