Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Daily Randiocity!

Often, I am Bemused by The Advertisement Method/Choices found on The Typical City Bus. It used to be that A Bus may have A Billboard plastered across The Rear. Or, perhaps on The Side Panel of Said Public Mode Of Transportation would be An Ad. But, nowadays, The Entire Bus is “Wrapped” meaning that The Moving Vehicle is Covered in One Single Advertisement. Half the time, The Bus is So Immersed in A Roving Commercial, you can’t even tell it is Actually A Bus any longer.

Sometimes, The Wrapping gets Ridiculous. A few years ago, I Wrote about A City Bus which was Wrapped in An Advertisement for America’s Next Top Model. The side of the bus told you The Information you would typically acquire from such an ad – The Name Of The Show, Time, and Channel. But, then The Advertisers went One Step Further –they had Images Of The Contestants Painted Onto The Bus In The Window Area. As if, we were supposed to Believe that The Super Model Wannabees were Actually Riding Public Transportation. I mean, Come On! This is Los Angeles, after all. No One takes Public Transportation in Los Angeles! Especially Not Super Models. We all know, if they Can’t Afford A Car, some Ugly, Yet Wealthy, Old Man That They May or May Not Sleep With can Purchase/Lease A Fine Automobile for their Personal Usage. A Super Model Wannabee, Riding A Los Angeles Public Bus is Super Far Fetched. In fact, I am sure that many An Ugly, Yet Wealthy Old Man hoping to Literally Pick Up Someone Special at The Next Bus Stop, trailed That Crazy Commercialized Bus, only to be Totally Disappointed when Some Fifty-Year Old Latina Housekeeper stepped off the vehicle, somewhere near Echo Park. Regardless, The Whole Bus As A Billboard Thing is An Enigma to me.

Okay, so Maybe I just wasn’t The Target Market for The America's Next Top Model Super Model Bus. But, Yesterday when, once again, I was behind A Wrapped City Bus, I was Absolutely Intrigued. This Bus was Covered in Brown! It looked like it was supposed to be A Snickers Bar! But, instead of saying, “Snickers” it read, “Nougartocity!” I drove behind The Candy Communicating Cart for some time, trying to pronounce, “Nougartocity.”

Noo-gart-too city?

Nooo-gart-city?

Nooo-gart-to-the city?

I just couldn’t Get It. I ended up Missing My Turn, I was So Enraptured with this So-Called “Nougartocity!” And, I am still Baffled. How do you Say It? What Is It? Do I Need It? Exactly How Many Weight Watcher Points will “Nougartocity” Require? So, if Anyone knows How To Correctly Pronounce The Word, “Nougartocity” or has Answers to Any Of My Many Other Questions Regarding, “Nougartocity” please let me know.

I am pretty sure, “Nougartocity” is referring to Some Sort Of Delicious Snickers-Like Candy. But, please, don’t tell me that “Nougartocity” is The Pet Name of A Fifty Year Old Latina Housekeeper who lives near Echo Park. I will be As Disappointed As An Ugly, Yet Wealthy Old Man trailing A Bus full of Painted On Super Model Wannabees.

Because, either way, I guess Me and The Old Ugly Man are both just hoping for Some Candy.

6 comments:

Gooch said...

I would think an entire city bus covered in brown would be advertising Dulcolax. Or, alternatively, Immodium AD.

Go Nicole Yourself said...

I was just screaming with laughter. I totally would have done the same thing!

On a side note, Romance is DEF my favorite. I mean, how can you not love someone who cries crocodile tears at the tragic death of his Princess. Hahahahahaha. I feel for the dog but I want to punch him in his blond spiky head. All hail I Love NY! TAB must be so proud to represent the company.

Michael said...

I'm gonna commission a bus to read "Randilicious". It'll be painted pink with zebra stripes.

Mr. Fahrenheit said...

It's not "nougart." It's "nougat."

Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!

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