Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Tom Cruise Conspiracy

So, Last Night, I had This Dream…

I Dreamt that I was at Tom Cruise’s House. It was in The Middle Of The Night, just like when I had The Dream. It turned out, Tom Cruise lived in a pretty modest house around the corner from me. But, in a Cul De Sac. I don’t have any Cul De Sacs around the corner from me. But, Tom Cruise Lived In A House In A Cul De Sac around the corner from me, nonetheless.

Tom Cruise was Oprah-Excited about Me being there. I was going to Baby-sit! I think was My Sister and Totally Awesome Boyfriend were with me. First, Tom Cruise gave us A Tour. He took us down into The Basement, which was Huge and filled with Water. Basically, he had A Soundstage For Titanic under his house. The Basement was So Large, it was even Bigger than his Ground Floor! It was Scary. Almost as Scary as Tom Cruise -- He was Very Excited about it!

So, Tom Cruise leaves and we are left Babysitting. We want to Explore, but we can’t because we think Tom Cruise is Crazy and there may be Secret Cameras everywhere and Hidden Voice Recorders. But, I can Confirm that Tom Cruise slept in A Hospital Bed and he and Katie had Separate Beds In Their Room, ala I Love Lucy and Their Room was Teeny-Tiny. And: I Met Suri Cruise! But, here is The Thing: When I met her I said, “Hi Suri!” And she stood up from Crawling Position and said, Very Clearly, “It is Surrri.” See, I had Mispronounced Her Name, due to My Long Island Accent. I didn’t say The R correctly. But, also, Suri Cruise stood Up! And Spoke!! She was Clearly Not An Infant!! I turned to Totally Awesome Boyfriend and whispered, “I think she is about 2 ½. I know – I have Experience Working With Children! The Baby Thing Is All An Act!!” I wanted to Tell Someone Else, like The Whole World! But, with all The Hidden Cameras and Secret Voice Recorders how could we? I figured, I would just Blog About it The Next Day.

And then, we sent Totally Awesome Boyfriend out to get Ice Cream. I Greatly Enjoy that Cold Stone Creamery.

3 comments:

Katie Holmes said...

That dream is... Amazing! Just Amazing!

dantobindantobin said...

Too bad the church made you mislabel this experience as "a dream."

Cybele said...

You mean to say that in your "dream", your Long Island accent did not magically transpose to one from the Carribean? Hmm. Maybe DanTobinDanTobin is right....