Saturday, July 22, 2006

I Talk A Latte 'Bout My Boyfriend

Sometimes after work, I stop by My Near Work Starbucks for A Delicious Iced Grande Non Fat Latte. My Near Work Starbucks happens to be Inside A Grocery Store. I don't know about other areas of the country, but this seems to be The Latest, Greatest Thing in High-End Los Angeles Area Grocery Stores -- Starbucks While You Shop, In Your Shop! It is especially useful when One Shops For One’s Groceries When One Is Very Very Tired From A Long Work Day and/or Still Hung Over From The Evening Before. That is my experience, anyhow.

This past week, I made one of these Shopping Center Starbucks stops, in fact. When I walked up to the counter, there was A Young, Cute Boy Working. I placed my drink order and watched as The Young Cute Starbucks Boy marked the cup with my drink details. As he did so, I went rumbling through my bag, looking for the cash for my coffee.

And then, The Young Cute Starbucks Boy asked, "Can I have Your Phone Number?"

I blushed. “Ahhh,” I thought to myself. “Young, Cute Boys Never Stop Loving Me! How Adorable!” Thinking about How Sweet it was that The Young Cute Starbucks Boy wanted to Ask Me Out, I giggled. As if I would actually date A Twenty-Something Starbucks Employee! Ha! Well, okay, maybe I Would. But, that was like, Two Years Ago. I have Grown since then. Now, The Young, Cute Starbucks Employee would have to be at least in his Thirties.

Well, that is, he would be, had I not met My Totally Awesome Boyfriend. I informed Young, Cute Starbucks Boy, as gently as possible, "I am So Sorry, but I have A Boyfriend,” I didn’t mind at all. I never get tired of telling people that I have A Boyfriend. I try to work the phrase, “My Boyfriend” into every conversation. For example, if someone were to ask me, “The Daily Randi, do you have any big plans for this weekend?” I would reply, “Well, I think I am spending some quality time with My Boyfriend!” Or, “The Daily Randi, did you like Superman Returns? I would reply, “No! In fact, me and My Boyfriend hated it!” Or, if someone were to ask me, “The Daily Randi, what do you think about The Crisis In The Middle East these days?” I would reply, “MY BOYFRIEND!!!!” See? Sometimes, I don’t even need an excuse to say it!

The Young, Cute Starbucks Boy looked at me, though. He seemed Confused.

"Uhhh,” he said. “I mean, can I have Your Phone Number for The Computer?” He gestured to his cash register scanner screen. “If you have A Vons Card with you, you can just give me That. You get a discount on your coffee with it.”

I glared. Just for A Moment.

Quickly, I recovered. "Uh, um, oh, of course! I knew that! I just wanted you to know, I have A Boyfriend. I want Everyone to know! He is Totally Awesome!”

The Young, Cute Starbucks Boy just stared at me. "But, do you have A Vons Card?"

"Um, No," I told him.

“Okay,” he said, starting my drink.

And then I added, “But I am pretty sure My Boyfriend Does!”

1 comment:

Tamara said...

Hey, finally I see your blog. That post was obnoxious, but funny. :)