Thursday, June 01, 2006

Dear Daily Randi: American Idle

It's Thursday and that means it is The Daily Randi Advice Day! Keep those e-mails coming and please remember, I have no idea what I am talking about........

Dear Daily Randi:

The Only Thing I had in common with The Other People I Work With was
American Idol. At Lunch, that is All we would discuss. Tuesdays we talked Who We Wanted To Be Voted Off, Wednesdays we would discuss Who We Thought Should Be Voted Off and Thursdays we chatted about Who Got Voted Off. Mondays and Fridays are so busy, we rarely get Lunch.

Now, however,
American Idol is Over. Lunch, though Is Not.

My Question is This, The Daily Randi: What the fuck am I supposed to talk to my office mates about Now?

I Don't Even Like
American Idol And Yet I Can't Stop Thinking About It

Dear Idol-it:

Oh, deary, do I feel your pain! God Bless American Idol for bringing people who would normally have nothing in common together. My feeling is that American Idol is The Great Pacifier. Someday, War Will Cease To Exist and Peace Will Reign On Earth. And it will all be due to American Idol. People will finally realize that they need to Put Down Their Guns to Dial The Phone and Vote For Their Favorite.

Why don't you try what I do at Lunch? I hang out with My Nine-Year Old Students and help them answer Life's Most Important Questions:

Who Is Cuter? Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp?

Is High School Musical the Bestest Television Show Ever?

Is Jamie Lynn Spears going to turn out just like her sister because that would be Really Gross?

Then, We Trade Sandwiches. One of their moms makes a mean tuna salad that is Delicious and they like My PB And J. Usually one of them has some Doritos for me, too.

If you don't have any Nine Year Olds handy, you could always initiate These Conversations with your co-workers, anyhow. Chances are one of them has a solid opinion about The Great Orlando Bloom/Johnny Depp Cuteness Debate.

You Should Tell Them That Everyone Knows It Is So Totally Johnny Depp,
The Daily Randi


Anonymous said...

LOL. My wife would totally agree with you. Her "list" includes Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp and George Clooney. Of course, Jude Law used to be on the list, but he was shoved to the scrapheap for bad behavior.

Michael said...

Sigh... i remember when little girls talked about Judy Bloom, and now it's Orlando Bloom. And Depp was some kind of hair styling product.

Randi said...

N/S -- George Clooney is by far The Dreamiest. But, Nine Year Olds "don't get it." I tried to tell them that George Clooney Looks Really Good In A Tuxedo and Possesses Bedroom Eyes, but then they asked me, "Why do you need Eyes For Your Bedroom?" and I was forced to Quickly Change Said Subject.

Michael -- I could be mistaken, but your comment sounded an awful lot like A Lament. ;)