Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Give Me Laments And I Shall Make Lamentade!

On Sunday morning, Totally Awesome New Boy was Lamenting, as he is wont to do. Totally Awesome New Boy Laments a lot, but I find it all rather Endearing. Being that we happen to share the same Geographical Origins I understand This Great Need To Lament. On Long Island, Lamenting is A Way Of Life, much like Shopping At Roosevelt Field Mall or Complaining About Your Mother. They really should have called it Lament Island instead. Or, Lament Field Mall. Or, That Woman Who Causes Me To Feel So Guilty That I Lament and then I Feel Guilty About Lamenting. See? Now I am Doing It, too!

On this particular morning, Totally Awesome New Boy was Lamenting that He Had So Much He Needed To Do. Ironically, he was Lamenting About This while we were Cuddled Up In Each Other's Arms, neither of us seeming to move anywhere. "Yes, You really should go Do All Those Things You Need To Do," I encouraged, rolling on top of him. Then, we would make out, a half hour would go by, and The Entire Lamenting Process would begin all over again. This continued for Hours.

Until, that is, Totally Awesome New Boy made The Most Totally Awesome Declaration! "Fuck It!" he announced. "You know what Today is, The Daily Randi?! Today is Totally Awesome New Boy Day!! I am just going to do things that Totally Awesome New Boy wants to do! And Nobody Else!"

Naturally, at first I was filled with trepidation. But, then I quickly realized, Totally Awesome New Boy Day was Totally Awesome! In fact, I have never received So Much Attention! I was Smothered With Kisses, Handsomely Hugged, Gladly Handled, and Happily (Sexually) Harassed! We even went for A Walk under the guise of "Needing To Get Out (And Onto Our Feet)!" which quickly turned into "Needing To Make Out (Every Few Feet)! Totally Awesome New Boy Day felt a whole lot like The Daily Randi Day, if you ask me!

Of course, All Good Things Must Come To An End, and eventually, I began to Lament stealing Totally Awesome New Boy away from The Things He Was Lamenting About Earlier That Day. And, so later that afternoon, I sent him on his way. I Lamented Seeing Him Go, but still it was A Totally Awesome Holiday!

And, of course, I intend to honor Such An Important Day again Very Very Soon.

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