Saturday, May 06, 2006

Special Weekend Bonus Greatest Hits: Rescue Me!

Originally Published August 27, 2003

I don't have An Attic now, but if I did, I would definitely try to lock Someone in it. Attics are Romantic and I love people who are kept trapped in them. Like in Jane Eyre - someone is in an attic in that book and it makes it Extra Romantic. In Flowers in the Attic, My Favorite Trashy Novel Of All Time, (next to My Sweet Audrina, by far V.C. Andrew's Best Most Awesome Book) The Whole Family is kept in An Attic, kind of like Anne Frank, who is also kept in An Attic and Everyone Loves Anne Frank.

My Favorite Fairy Tale Of All Time is Rapunzel. Rapunzel is actually kept in A High Tower, but A High Tower is Attic-ish, and so it is Acceptable and she gets rescued by A Prince Who Goes Blind For Her. As a kid, I used to lock myself in the bathroom, and pretend I was locked up in An Attic, albeit A Well-Equipped, Toweled Attic, with Air Freshener and Mr. Bubble, but An Attic nonetheless. Then I used to stick one of My (Shoulder Length) Braids out the bathroom window and call out to The Neighbor Kids playing kickball in the street, hoping someone would hear me and try to rescue me but None Of Them Ever Did.

I don't think they were used to seeing A Beautiful Princess Trapped In A Suburban Bathroom. Eventually, I would Just Let Myself Out, but it is So Not The Same Thing when you Rescue Yourself.

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