Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Pyramid Is Not Just An Ancient Monument In Egypt

When The Cutest Boy Ever told me last week that he didn't see himself Marrying Me and therefore thought we should Break Up, I laughed, mostly because I thought I had Already Broken Up with him Two Weeks Ago. And then of course, I thought about what he was Telling Me and I Cried. Of course, I thought The Speech sounded familiar -- he was telling me that He Just Didn't See Us Taking Things To The Next Level.

I hate this Whole Stupid Level Thing! And, when did Men Adapt The Level System anyhow!? You should know, I have never had any trouble getting to The Next Level playing Ms. Pac Man. You would think The Same Skills would apply -- Excellent Hand/Eye Coordination and The Ability To Operate A Joystick. No Man ever wants to Take Me To The Next Level, and I am beginning to think Relationships are just One Big Pyramid Scheme. You know, like Amway. Or Scientology. In order to Move To The Next Level, you have to Recruit Others to Do Your Dirty Work. And then you can Move Up.

I am not sure exactly what I would be Recruiting Others To Do, but I really hope that The Dirty Work involves some Laundry, because now I have to Wash Everything Again, mostly because after I Washed Everything Last Time, The Cutest Boy Ever couldn't Stay Away and Contaminated Everything once again. Of course, if I had Recruited The People To Do My Dirty Work Properly, there would be No Washing To Do, because The Cutest Boy Ever and I would be Sitting Happily On Top Of The Pyramid. Kind of like on A Wedding Cake, The Proverbial Pyramid in The Whole Relationship/Scheme Thing. And, The Cutest Boy Ever has clearly stated that he doesn't ever foresee us Getting To That Apex.

I need to Face Facts: The Only Level I will be seeing anytime soon is Final Spin.

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