Wednesday, November 02, 2005

But, Your Shoulder Pad Is In My Way

For some women, Halloween is A Great Excuse to Dress All Slutty. The rest of the year, we wouldn't dare dream of donning a low cut bustier, the shortest skirt ever, and a pair of thigh high stiletto-heeled boots we can barely walk in, no matter what the occasion. But, on Halloween Night, we do The Traditional "Let's Throw On These Ridiculous Garments All In The Name Of "The Holiday" And Getting Lots Of Attention" Dress Up. It is downright Spooky. That is why I try to Dress Slutty year round. That way, I can Dress Scary on Halloween.

The Cutest Boy Ever and I decided to go to A Sushi Dinner on Halloween Night, before we embarked on Our Evening Prowl. I Dressed in My Bloodiest Prom Dress as Carrie and He went as Rocky Balboa, complete with Black Eye and Poor Speech Patterns. The Poor Speech Patters was not actually part of his costume, but rather the results of his California Surfer Upbringing. It being Halloween, no one batteed an eyelash at our Get-Ups. Or, our Poor Speech Patterns.

Sitting at the Sushi Bar, The Cutest Boy Ever was overwhelmed with The Eye Candy. "Look at this place! It is full of Gnarly Sluts!" He could barely contain his Rad Glee.

I looked around, and realized he was right. While I was fairly covered up in My Fashion Monstrosity, otherwise known as The Puffy Sleeved Prom Dress Circa 1987, most of the other women in the restaurant were not. I spotted A Sexy Doctor. And A Sexy Cheerleader. And a Sexy Nurse, of course. If you didn't know it was Halloween, you could have come in and thought that this sushi joint was just A Local Hooker Hangout. Or, instead, that it was some sort of Whacky Urgent Care, where you could probably receive A Really Interesting Checkup. I wondered aloud if The Sexy Nurse took Blue Cross. Of course, you may also have just thought you were in Los Angeles.

"Hey, don't lean back! From this angle, I can line up One Of Your Boobs, with The Cheerleader's Left One and The Nurse's Right One. You look like A Three Tittied Terror! Awesome!" The Cutest Boy exclaimed. He didn't seem Too Scared and even saluted us with his Sake.

Because, apparently, although we may Grow Up To Adulthood, some folks are never going to stop Admiring All The Candy on Halloween Night.

Especially, Rocky Balboa.

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