Wednesday, September 28, 2005

CockEyed Optimist

It's been A Full Week since I wrote about My Boyfriend, 50 Cent. Yet, I am still Obsessing. Not only that, but he Hasn't Even Called. Not that I expected him to be much of A Caller, really. I was complaining to Good Friend Who Always Takes Me Out When A Boy Doesn't Call about 50 Cent Not Calling Me, but she Refused To Take Me Out on the basis that Fitty doesn't know I am Alive. Which served as a Reminder to me that then he couldn't possibly Know My Number, and I felt better immediately because that meant He Still Might Call!

Later, I read This:

"50 Cent's representatives asked for condoms -- two boxes of Lifestyles and Rough Riders, to be precise. The rapper also wanted the obligatory bottles of Cristal, but when it came to food, his tastes were simpler: chicken -- from KFC and Boston Market - and macaroni and cheese.
And 50 had a kosher request, as well. His demands, scored by In Touch Weekly, say: 'There is to be no pork in the food or in the vicinity of 50 Cent's dressing room.'"

See?! Fitty and I DO have things in common! Fitty likes Variety, as demonstrated by his Required Condom Options. I like Variety, too! Albeit, my idea of Variety is requiring a selection of Bath and Bodyworks Shower Gel in my bathroom. And, I don't eat Pork! But, not because I Keep Kosher. Pork just upsets my stomach sometimes, so I stay away from it. I doubt 50 Cent keeps Kosher, as well. We could talk about our Pork Inflicted Ailments! Best of all, I love Champagne. I can drink Cristal By The Case!

Unfortunately, I don't really like Fried Food and I think Macaroni and Cheese is Fattening, but I think Fitty and I can Work Past That.

Well, that is we can Work Past That if he ever learns I am Alive. And Nobody can say That Won't Ever Happen. Not even Good Friend.

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