Friday, June 13, 2003

Maybe I Should Have Stayed?

When I was in Palm Springs last week, I got bored all holed up in my villa and so one night I decided to go for a drive. The problem is it is The Desert. Desert is short for Deserted. Did you know that? I figured that out while I was driving around in what seemed like pitch black with no sign of life for miles. I had never seen The Desert before with my own eyes and I have to say, if those people just went and watered their lawn, they wouldn't have so much to whine about. In the development that I grew up in, if someone didn't water their lawn on a regular basis, and it started to look like that, they got a knock on the door from one of neighbors, complaining about their eyesore of a lawn. Being neighborly, I looked for someone to complain to, but I couldn't see any houses for miles. Then I started thinking that maybe those Desert People are just Elderly Folk who have too big a lawn and need a Young Boy to come over and give them A Hand with The Yard Work. Come to think of it, I could use a Young Boy to give me A Hand with Some Yard Work, but now I am off on a tangent, which is not the same as going off to Target. I made the mistake of going off to Target once when I really meant to go off on a tangent, and although I completely made the point I was trying to make, I also ended up with a new microwave oven and a pair of funky flip flops. Back to my story: I went driving in The Desert in the middle of the night and it was really dark, and I didn't know my way around and soon I got scared. I started thinking that if I was a Murderer, I would definitely look for Someone To Murder out here, in the middle of an unwatered lawn. This is where that whole Murdering Thing started, I could tell. And my fear was not that I would be murdered -- it was that I would Murder Someone. Which scared me more than the fear of being murdered, so I quickly turned around in the first driveway I found. It looked like a hospital where I drove into, but when I read the sign it said "Betty Ford Center" with a big arrow, pointing towards "Emergencies."


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