Hey. So, how 'bout That Michael Jackson?
On Thursday, I came home from Work and discovered that not only had Farrah Fawcett Died, but so had Michael Jackson. I mean What Were The Chances that Two of The Hugest Icons of my childhood would kick the bucket on the Same Freaking Day? I bet Henry Winkler was Relieved when he made it through to Friday.
Everyone knew that Farrah had The Best Hair when I was A Kid. Dorothy Hamill and Sandy At The End Of Grease were The Closest Runners Up. I am happy to report, I did Great Farrah Hair. My hair was naturally Thick, Wavy, and Blonde back in the day and as long as Farrah Hair was Popular, so was I. I was kind of Sad to hear that she was gone. Not to be Morbid, but I hope they do A Nice Wig for her at her funeral. The Mortician should be Delighted and Honored!
Now, Michael Jackson is a whole other ball of wax, no pun intended. Hearing Michael Jackson Died was sort of like learning That That Weird Girl You Made Fun Of In Tenth Grade Had Grown Up And Committed Suicide And Suddenly You Felt Bad For All The Names You Called Her, Even Though She Really Was A Freak And Deserved It. I couldn't believe he Died and in his honor, I made sure that I Downloaded All Of His Songs That I Owned But Previously Thought I Didn't Need Taking Up Space In My iTunes Because It Was Uncool. Totally Awesome Husband and I spent most of the day in bed Saturday afternoon, watching Michael Jackson Videos on VH1. We figured we must have seen The Entire Canon at least one time through. Some of these videos we hadn't seen in Years. Like That We Are The World Video. Wow. That's what I call A Hot Mess. Why is Dan Ackroyd there? And Bruce Springsteen Parodies himself. Who thought to include Kenny Loggins? Also, we saw some Video we both had never seen before with Chris Tucker and Marlon Brando. Train Wreck. And then that In The Closet video with Naomi Campbell. That is actually a pretty Good one, mostly because Herb Ritts directed it and it has his polish. But Michael Jackson seems completely oblivious to Hot, Sexy, Female Naomi Campbell writhing away in half a shirt just a few feet away. I haven't watched Videos all day in years.
I read over the weekend that The Jackson Family was looking for A Will and would be holding A Family Meeting. Oh, to be A Fly On The Wall Of A Jackson Family Meeting! LaToya is just Excited she is Invited. Janet sits in the corner, One Boob Hanging Out. And you got to feel Bad for The Jackson Who Is Bequeathed The Elephant Man's Bones. Talk about A Dust Collector. Sorry, Marlon.
I really hope they do some sort of Elaborate Funeral Thing for the guy, ala Princess Diana, but, like at Disneyland. Or like, Embalm Him and put him on tour like James Brown. Maybe he will be buried and emerge from his grave like he does in his Thriller video.
Now that would indeed be Thrilling.