Friday, January 26, 2007

The Great Dresser Top Debate

I have A Bit of Clutter in My Life. Last year, My New Year’ Resolution was To Eliminate My Clutter. I was Very Successful at Eliminating My Clutter, as a matter of fact. I cleaned out all My Closets and Draws. I gave Things away to Goodwill. I got all of My CDs Organized. I Dumped some Stupid Boys and Unfortunate Friends. My Driving Force behind The Great Clutter Elimination of 2006 was that One Can’t Have New Things In One’s Life Until One Rids Of The Old. I read that in Real Simple. Or Oprah told me. Wherever I got it, it made sense.

Of course, then I went out right away and Filled My Life with New Bits Of Clutter! Well, some of the stuff was Good. I did find Totally Awesome Boyfriend, after all!

But, I can understand Why when Totally Awesome Boyfriend and I talk about Combining All Of Our Things In One Home, he sometimes asks, “And you are going to Try And Be Neat, right?” Because I have A Lot Of Little Things I Probably Don’t Need Scattered About. He has promised to Help Me stay Neat. And, I have promised him that there will be No More Piles Of Papers For Work That Need To Be Filed! No More Clothes You Need To Step Over To Get To My Bed! And No More Dusty Books I Never Read Or Looked At Or Even Know I Own!

That must be what he means by Neat, right?

Just to be sure, a few weeks ago, I asked him, “What Exactly do you mean by Neat?” I figured that I should Know. Just in case he meant, “Get rid of All Your Things.” Because, like, that would So Suck.

“Well, see your Dresser?” he said, pointing to My Lovely Large Shabby Chic Style Vintage Dresser against My Bedroom Wall. “All That Stuff On Top Of It is Messy. The Dresser Top should be Clear Of All Things.”

I looked over to My Dresser Top. Did he mean, My Perfume Bottles and My Jewelry Box and My Pretty Ceramic Photo Frames were Clutter? Why, This was The Least Cluttered Place in My Apartment! After all, that is exactly what one is supposed to place on one’s Dresser Top!

“But, those are My Dresser Things. You are supposed to keep them There, on The Dresser,” I exclaimed.

“Dresser Tops should not have Things on top of them,” he replied, matter of factly.

I thought about His Dresser Top. Well, it was Clear Of All Things. But that is because he was A Guy. Guys don’t have Dresser Things. I don’t even think he owns Cologne.

“Growing up, My Dresser always had Dresser Things on it!” I retaliated. Even My MOM’s Dresser had Dresser Things! All Girls keep Things On Their Dresser!”

But he just muttered, “I Never Heard Of That.”

And so, I have been Taking A Poll. So far, Everyone Agrees With Me, Things Go On The Dresser, especially Dresser Things. In fact, Totally Awesome Boyfriend’s Sister had A Dresser Top Full Of Dresser Things, when I snuck A Peek during her Dinner Party last weekend. But, still, he is A Non-Believer.

And, so I beseech you, Dear Readers: Do you kept things on Your Dresser? And if so, What? Please say, “Perfume Bottles and Jewelry Boxes and Pretty Ceramic Picture Frames.” Because I need Lots And Lots Of Proof/Help.

But, also, I think I could win some Bragging Rights on this one.

And Bragging Rights are indeed Neat, I Say.


Hilary said...

I have perfume and matching lotion, a jewelry box, a TV, a cute little ceramic thing I painted at Color Me Mine, and my watch.

Sorry Michael. You're losing this one.

Michael said...

Aw, c'mon. This is a loaded question. It's the equivalent of asking which is more fun to watch: "Sex & the City" reruns or ESPN Classic. Any guy who sides with Randi on this dresser issue is either afraid of pissing off the girls or a kinda messy himself.

evilsciencechick said...

OK not ONLY does my dresser top have things on it (my perfume, my jewely box, and a small bank for spare change) KEVIN'S dresser has things on it AS WELL!

His wallet, a basket of spare change and what seems to be pen caps, his watch, and I think those are a few computer componants.

SO! there are guys with things on their dressers. IN dad has things on his dresser, too. My mom even bought Kev a "deluxe station charging valet" for his dresser. It's like a guy jewelry box! for their bits and things and watches and cufflinks, and also slots for him to put various things that need recharging, so that they are all in one place. Uhhh...we haven't gotten it out of the box yet, but still! The logical place for it is ON TOP OF THE DRESSER!!!!


Will said...

I had my dresser built into the wall to avoid this problem but my soon to be moving in better half is briging her own dresser with which she can do what she pleases but I wouldn't stack anything on mine.

Randi said...

Sex and the City!

Michelle said...

Sex & The City!! No doubt!

Anonymous said...

I keep a ton of stuff on my dresser.

But I'm a fucking slob.

Anonymous said...

I have a small zen garden, a little wooden water fountain and a metal birdcage that I put a candle in.

The perfume bottles are in the bathroom, but if I had more than 3, I'd put them in a basket in the closet.

I hate dusting so I avoid having things out that gather dust.

Sorry, The Daily Randi!

ps: Sex & the City! Duh!

gooblythe said...

ok so u should probably not listen to me and my world because, after all, we do come from the same family and everything. that said- i have always kept things on my dresser. i think mom used to display things on it. and then when i went away to college and you helped me settle in my first dorm room, you put things on my dresser too. however, the dresser has been a hot topic in my household because like your totally awesome boyfriend, my boyfriend does not believe things belong on dressers either. in fact, he also refers to them as "messy." it's a constant debate and he is always asking me to clear things off of it. which is why, mind u, i had a huge 2 day yard sale before i left la and made $350!

Anonymous said...

I keep exactly those things on top of both my dressers along with candles. :)

Nanette said...

Brent and I both keep our cologne/perfume, along with some candles and a mirror on top of the dresser.

Totsie said...

Hmm, I have to say, as an obsessive organizer, even I have a few things on my dressers. The big dresser has a jewellery box, an assortment of perfumes in one corner and a large candle on the other, but the thing is so freakin' big it doesn't look like there's anything on it, which I like. My chest of drawers has a lamp and a few picture frames and the Man's nightstand has a lamp and an alarm clock. So that's stuff, right? However, I cannot handle seeing loose change or pens or anything that belongs in a pocket or purse on a surface. Drives me right mental.

Hilary said...

I felt the need to ask the cute boy I went on a couple of dates with if he has anything on his dresser, and he said he usually has collar stays amongst other things. So because of this question, I learned what collar stays are. Thank you.

Green said...

On top of my dresser at my old apartment lived my televisions, and some weird thing my brother bought me in New Orleans (pre-Katrina, if it matters).

Now in my new apartment on top of my dresser is my stereo, and every day when I come home from work my keys, wallet and cell phone and scarf go there for the night.

I own no picture frames at all, and I admit that's weird. My perfumes are under the bathroom sink. My jewelry box is inside my night table. Sorry.