Wednesday, December 06, 2006

This Just Deleted!

I used to write The Daily Randi Every Day. Hence the inclusion of “Daily” in its Title. Back when I first started Writing, The Daily Randi was merely An E-Mail I would send out via A Long Mailing List, Tuesday Through Friday. After I entered The Blog World, I tired of That. It is Too Hard to Write Something Every Single Day. Still, I used to Do It.

In order to generate New Posts so often, I would keep a list of Things That Were The Daily Randi Worthy in The Notes Section of My Trusty (And Much Coveted) Sidekick. Writing Less has meant Little Need for My Notes, so today I Started Deleting Them. I had punched them in So Long Ago, I couldn’t even remember What Some Of Them Were About! But I thought, before I Deleted Them Completely, I would Share With You My Old List Of The Daily Randi Worthy Ideas.

NOTE: “I don’t know. But I bet he’s dead now!”

I think this refers to the day I was teaching Third Grade and I was asked to describe Who My Secret Crush Was When I Was Their Age so I said, “Does anyone know who Shaun Cassidy is?”

“I don’t know. But I bet he’s dead now!” was The Response I received from one of the girls.


NOTE: “When I see Old People dining alone, I try not to look.”

Good Friend Who Always Takes Me Out When A Boy Doesn’t Call said this to me once. Apparently, Old People Creeped Her Out. And I thought that was Funny.


NOTE: “That’s why I only date Tiny Men…Giant Babies!”

Okay. A Friend of mine was describing how She Just Visited An Old College Roommate to see her New Baby. Although The Old College Roommate was Petite, her husband is Over Six Feet Tall. My Friend refereed to The Baby as The Giant Baby. Because The Baby was Massive, just like The Very Tall Husband. She said It Was The Largest Baby She Had Ever Seen, in fact. And that’s when Another Friend we were with commented, “That’s Why I Only Date Tiny Men!” She didn’t want A Giant Baby, either.


NOTE: “Where are Famous Stores?”

I was driving in My Old Car – A Dingy Ford Focus that was Breathing Its Last Breath. While stuck at A Light, A Flashy Convertible packed with Obvious Tourists screamed out, “Louis Vuitton! LOUIS VUITTON!!”

“Where?!” I thought, getting All Excited. Was he Crossing The Street?

Alas, No, He Was Not. Although they Spoke (Screamed?) Only Broken English, I finally was able to Decipher that These Tourists were looking for Rodeo Drive. I pointed them in The Right Direction. But they continued to, desperately yell at me, “Where Louis Vuitton? Where are Famous Stores??!!” until the light changed and they sped away towards their shopping spree.

Of course, when they first asked me, “Where Louis Vuitton?” I really wanted to answer, “I don’t know. But I bet he’s dead now!”

1 comment:

Totsie said...

Ahahahaha!

I was more of a David Cassidy fan, sadly. But I went from him to Adam Ant, who at the time was the anti-Cassidy. Well...David Lee Roth would have been the anti-Cassidy, but not only did I find him gross, it would have killed my father.