Girlfriend Needs To Get Up Off Her Lazy Ass And Stop Thinking About Celebrities

I’m feeling Really Lazy this week. I don’t know Why. I am thinking that being Sick last week reminded me just how much I Enjoyed Laying Around And Doing Nothing. Because, that is mostly what I have done this week: Nothing.

Well, I have done Something. I have spent An Inordinate Amount Of Time contemplating The Following:

1. Does Britney Spears have The Worst Taste In Men On Earth, even Worse than My MOM? Have you seen This New Guy she was just seen Making Out With?

The New Gross Boyfriend

Is she actually attracted to Boys Who Dress Like Boy Band Rejects, circa 1998?And before any of you say, “But, wait! She used to date Justin Timberlake! And he is Dreamy! And, Quite Well-Coiffed!” please remember that Justin Timberlake used to be A Member of A Boy Band, circa 1998 and formally dressed like This:

The Old School Justin

Girlfriend must be F'd Up.

2. How is it possible to Mistakenly Drive Onto The 134 Freeway – A Road I take nearly Everyday to get to Work, so I know it Well – via The Off Ramp, ala Nicole Richie? I mean, Those Ramp Things are Clearly Marked, with like, Giant DO NOT ENTER Signs. Enormous Signs. And Preventive Cone-Thingys. And Cement Blocks.

Girlfriend must have been Really Really F'd Up.