Late-r, Friend

I was reading Real Simple Magazine before I went to sleep last week. In the front section of The Magazine, they always have this “What To Do” Section, where they basically give you Etiquette Advice on different topics. In this month’s issue, they focus on What To Do If Someone Is Running Late. They give you Advice for, What To Do If Your Doctor Is Running Late (Politely explain to the receptionist that you need to Reschedule), What To Do If You Are Running Late (Be Kind and Call.), and What To Do If Your Boss Is Running Late (Do Absolutely Nothing If You Still Want To Be Employed By Said Boss) Then, they give you Advice on What To Do if Your Friend Is Running Late In Meeting You.

The Expert says that you should give A Friend 30 Minutes before you Can Just Get Up From The Planned Meeting Point And Leave Annoyed. Okay – I can agree to that Maybe. But, after 30 Minutes I promise you, I Will Be Plenty Annoyed. But, then The Expert continues with, If Said Late Friend Calls To Tell You They Are Running Late, you have to give them 30 Additional Minutes! That is A Full Freaking Hour for A Very Late, Inconsiderate Friend!

I don’t know about you, but I would Never give A Friend One Hour to get their shit together. Even 30 Minutes is pushing it with me. A Phone Call might Excuse them for A Bit. But, Not For A Full Hour. So, I had to Check Out who This So-Called Expert was. The Magazine lists her as A Los Angeles -Based Actress Who Frequently Discusses Social Issues. Now, Los Angelinos are Notoriously Late. And Entertainment World Employees are Notoriously Flakey. More importantly, Actresses Know Nothing About Social Issues. I can only surmise that The Los-Angeles Based Actress/Etiquette/Social Issues Expert Discusser must have been About An Hour Late plenty of times and needed her Tardy Ass covered by Excusing Her Shameful Behavior (via her Often Tardy, Too PR Person) in Print. And in Real Simple Magazine, no less! Now even Midwesterners will become Flakey Fannies, too!

You know, I am thinking, I should really Write Real Simple Magazine A Letter Of Complaint.

But, I am afraid -- It may be Too Late.