Thursday, June 29, 2006

Letters To The (15 Year Old) Daily Randi At Sleep Away Camp From Her Best Friend (At The Time) a.k.a. Some Things Never Change, Part III

Third of A Multi-part Series

A Bubbly Handwritten Letter:

Monday, July 8, 1985 4:45pm

Dear The (15 Year Old) Daily Randi,

THE EGGS HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Which came first, the chicken or the egg? We polled a 100 “gifted and talented” students to find out their answer. Barbara and I did this poll for the newspaper we’re writing for our course. People laughed at us when we asked them. Others were nice but some were really obnoxious. They had the personalities of a dish rag! Well, so it goes. We went to Newsday today. I wasn’t impressed. Everything was pretty much empty. I wanted to see reporters running around trying to meet a deadline but no one was because the paper is printed at 2am so no one was there. The tour guide was such a snot! If you asked her a question she didn’t know the answer to she would say that it was a dumb question. She had a definite problem.

I received a letter from you today. I’m glad it’s getting better. Gordon sounds awesome!
[The Daily Randi says: Gordon was The Camp’s Soccer Counselor From Bath, England. He was Dreamy.] Does he have a deep accent? I think that sounds excellent. I don’t know why you didn’t get any mail from me. I sent you at least four. The mail must be spastic!

They’re going to put nude photos of Madonna in Penthouse Magazine! I don’t know the full story – hold that thought!!!

As I have told you in previous letters (if you got them) that I’m going to ABC Studios this Thursday. The teacher said we might have extra time in the city to go sightseeing. He asked us if we wanted to go to any place special so I said let’s go to the Village. This snotty girl Grace says do you mean Greenwich Village? And I said “of course!” She said you need a tour guide or you’ll get lost. I said I know a tour guide. She goes “Who?” I said Bill, my friend’s boyfriend he lives there. She goes “oh!” very nastily. What a jerk.
[The Daily Randi says: I met Bill at Summer Camp the year before and he lived in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village. I used to drag My Best Friend (At The Time) into The City every weekend via Long Island Rail Road just to visit him. He would take us to St. Marks Pizza and buy us Slices. My Best Friend (At The Time) would eat hers while Bill and I made out in the corner, behind The Space Invaders Game.]

You know that kid I told you about with the blond hair and blue eyes from Miller Place. Guess what his name is. William! What a coincidence. Not a bad name, don’t you agree? But “What’s in a name?” “A rose by any other word would smell as sweet!”

How many books did you read?
[The Daily Randi says: We had a Required Summer Reading List For Honors English] Susan only read one! How obscene! She read Prince and the Pauper in 8th grade but now she has to reread it. Again. What a fag!

You figure by now that Susan and I might have seen a movie by now or gone to the beach together. NO!! Susan and I have not seen each other other than school. Not that I want to go anywhere with her but I figured she would be all over me to do stuff with her. Not so! Just as well. She’s as exciting as a dill pickle! I am just soooo funny.

I haven’t seen Chris Youngs lately.
[The Daily Randi says: Chris Youngs was My Huge High School Crush. He Didn't Know I Was Alive.] Has he written you any letters yet? I gave him your address. He called me up and asked me for it. And so it goes.

Sir Gregory has been rather quiet of late. He doesn’t usually say anything except he always is hyper when the bus is late. He says we should be going to Bellport right now instead of waiting for this stupid bus! Wow man you’re tough Greg!
[The Daily Randi says: My Best Friend (At The Time) and I hated Greg. But, then Senior Year, I let him be My Boyfriend for A Month because I was Bored. Also, I needed A Prom Date.]

Laurie is going to the Institute too and she’s on our bus. I sit in the back with Jennifer Holmes, Susan, Theresa Schneider and Kay McCormick. They are pretty cool. Laurie sits in the front with Laura and some other fags including Tara’s brother. The fags sit there and play Go Fish. How gay can you be? So today we started getting nasty to them. We laughed really loud at the them and they all turned around (interrupting their card game) to look at us. We sit there and wave at them to make them feel like fools. They’re such lowlifes.

Well, I gotta go now.

Love ya,
Your Best Friend (At The Time)

P.S. I was only kidding. Chris Youngs didn’t ask for your address!

Two Hand Drawn Hearts At The Bottom Of The Last Page:

True Love Forever
The (15 Year Old) Daily Randi

Bill (You Know Who!)
Your Best Friend (At The Time)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
(Actual Photo of Actual Letter taken by The (36 Year Old) Daily Randi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally Spastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


Michael said...

Stupid Chris Youngs... he coulda been making out with you at St. Mark's Pizza like that other lucky guy. Stupid Chris. What a fag!

Randi said...

Ahh...But, Michael...Don't Be A Spaz!

Who is The Lucky One now?!


Flora Pang said...

your waist is real sexy, u know that?

Anonymous said...

How cute that you still have that. ;-)