Google, Google, Goo

The Cutest Boy Ever has been spending An Awful Lot Of Time at My Apartment of late. So, the other day, when he asked to use My Computer, I figured, sure, What The Heck? After all, he needs to Check His E-Mail just like everyone else -- what Harm could it bring? So, let him Use My Computer, I did.

And while The Cutest Boy Ever Checked His E-Mail, I took A Shower. How Adorable were We? This must be how Power Couples behaved! Unfortunately, when I got out of The Shower I heard The Cutest Boy Ever call out, "Hey, The Daily Randi, Did you by chance Google Me?"

Shocked and Surprised, I had no idea What To Say. "Um..." was all I could muster as I walked over to my desk, where he was working.

"I just went to check this site, and this article I wrote came up automatically. You must have read it! he explained.

Dear Readers, I don't know what happened, but I found myself completely, utterly Speechless. "Um..." I said again. "No. No way. No way, Jose! I did not Google You! I have no idea what That Site Is. You must have looked at it once before. In A Past Life." I ran back to The Bathroom.

Sh$t, Sh$t, Sh$t, Sh$t. What did I just do? I just totally lied to The Cutest Boy Ever about Googling him! And, The Crazy Thing Is, I don't even know why I Did It! What so be So Bad about Admitting To Googling Him? After all, everyone Googles Everyone these days! Right? Right!

This was no way to start A New Relationship! And so, I decided, I needed to tell The Cutest Boy Ever The Truth. I needed to Confess, Yes, I Googled You. I Googled You and I am Unashamed! I would definitely tell him The Truth. I figured, I really had No Choice. In fact, I had to confess to The Googling Immediately!

And by Immediately, what I really mean to say is In A Year Or Two. Because, Unfortunately, Admitting to Lying about Googling Him seems Worse than Admitting To Googling Him in The First Place.